Birds and the Bees Unplugged

Many parents hope that the school sex education classes cover sexily on how to talk to their children about it. For some reason, in our culture, talking about sex is often uncomfortable. Many parents would rather avoid the issue, then come to grips with it. However, the school does not teach everything your child needs to learn when it comes to sex, which means that as a parent you have a responsibility talking to your kids about what the school does not cover. Now we need to talk to your kids about when it comes to sex let’s first look at what the school teaches:

School sex education classes cover the basics such as the fundamental differences between male and female reproductive organs, and practicing safety during sex. Most school sex education classes go into detail about sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. Most sex education classes use diagrams to show how sex is performed. Most sex education classes cover things like hormonal changes in your body at maturity and proper hygiene.

So what doesn’t the school sex education class cover? School sex education classes do not cover your family’s personal viewpoints, morals, and values when it comes to sex. They do not address when your child can start having sex; they often leave out emotional and mental aspects of sex, and most importantly, they do not teach your child your family’s rules when it comes to sex.

It is essential that as a parent you talk to your kids about sex, and do not leave their sexual education up to the school, friends, and the media. If you do, your child is likely to get a mixed message of what is appropriate, and is far more likely to suffer emotional and psychological damage as a result of having sex too early, having unprotected sex, or choosing sexual partners unwisely.

When you talk to your child about sex, be sure to have an open mind. If your child is afraid to ask you questions, and fears judgment or reprisal, they will not talk to you about sex, and often it will be too late when you get around to talking to them about it.

First and foremost be sure to always be available to them to answer any questions, or address any concerns they might have about sex. Be open about the subject, and be sure that they know they can talk to you without you embarrassing them or making them feel uncomfortable.

Second, do not make sex a taboo subject in your home. Even if you have rules prohibiting your child from engaging in sex, does not mean you should avoid the subject completely. By not educating your child about sex, or by avoiding it, you can effectively push them into having sex in order to get questions answered.

Third, be sure to address the subject of peer pressure and how it relates to sex. Make sure your child understands that being different is okay. Help them explore how they feel about being a virgin, and what they think will be different if they start having sex. If your child actually looks at sex and what they think will change in their life if they start having sex, they might find that sex is not the answer. However, you can’t just tell them that and expect them to believe it, they have to explore it for themselves, so help them get to the point where they are willing to, by asking the right questions.

Set rules with your child that they understand and respect. You can’t just say, “No sex” you have to help them understand why. Teach them responsibility when it comes to sex. Talk to them about the consequences of sex. Last but not least, teach them how to say no, how to avoid sexual abuse, sexual predators, and harmful sex.