Indulgent Parenting Style

While every parent wants to raise upstanding citizens, and happy children that love them, almost every parent goes about doing so in their own unique way. Some succeed, others fail. The fact is that there are certain parenting styles we adopt, and the way our children turn out is often a result of the way we parented. While everyone’s parenting style is somewhat different, as each child is different, most fit into some specific categories of parenting. One of these categories is that of indulgent or permissive parenting. This is an easy parenting style to adopt because you want your kids to like you. Let’s take a look at indulgent parenting, and what types of effects this particular parenting style generally has on children.

Indulgent parents are the type of parents who are more responsive than demanding. This means that they are really lenient, often letting their children get away with more than most because they want their child to practice self-regulation. This parenting style is characterized by parents who do not require mature behavior, or that avoid confrontation with their child.

The style of indulgent parenting is often categorized in one of two ways: Indulgent parents who while lenient are engaged and committed to the child, and are conscientious of the child; and indulgent parents who are simply nondirective, or in other words parents who are basically uninvolved in the raising of the child.

Of the first type you see parenting who have little expectation of their children when it comes to behavior, and make excuses for their poor actions. These parents are nurturing, and accepting, and are good at showing love, but poor at setting restrictions and rules. This kind of parent is generally more concerned with their children liking them and not rebelling against them, then they are with their child’s maturity or ability to learn boundaries.

How does indulgent parenting affect the child? Well, while most parents think they are showing their love to the child be being lenient and indulgent of their temper tantrums, etc. they are actually doing them a huge disfavor in not being more demanding or strict. Most studies show that children and adolescents from indulgent homes have behavioral problems in social settings, are not as good in school, and while they have high self esteem, and good social skills, as well as low levels of depression, they have grown up with so few behavior expectations that they are often in trouble.

Often times this sort of parenting produces children cannot control their impulses and do not accept the responsibility for their own actions. They place blame for what they do on others, even if it is clearly their own fault. This often leads to further problems in early adulthood, and they often find it hard to become independent and responsible for themselves. In addition to that, never being able to take responsibility often makes these child poor at peer-to-peer relationships. They are constantly competing with, and blaming their “friends” which is not good for making relationships last. The give and take of a relationship is often lost to them. Basically, they have grown up with little or no emotional and behavioral regulations, thus they are immature, and this immaturity impedes their ability to learn and grow from mistakes.

While it is important to show your child some leniency, and a lot of love, you also should be setting boundaries, rules, etc. and help your child learn the importance of them.