“Because I Said So, That’s Why!”: Authoritarian Parenting Style

Each parent has their own way of parenting, and this is referred to as a parenting style. There are a few different approaches to parenting, and the one we are going to discuss is the authoritarian approach to parenting.

As a basic definition, authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, meaning they set rules, and expect their orders to be obeyed, but are not responsive, which means they have these expectations, but do not feel they need to explain why they have rules. It is the idea of obedience without explanation, or blind obedience. While this sounds negative, the fact is that these parents appear to be great as they provide a well-ordered and structured environment for their children to grow up in. The rules are stated and clear. Some authoritarian parents are intrusive, others are autocratic.

So what are the effects of this kind of parenting style? Well, of course every child is going to be different, but research has shown that children and adolescents from authoritarian parents tend to perform moderately well in school. They are used to rules and discipline, and thus perform well in structured environments. They usually are not going to have poor behavior. However, with these pros come some cons; one of the biggest cons is that they tend to have poor social skills, or they suffer from low self esteem. Research has also shown that children from authoritarian parents have a higher likelihood of depression.

As you can see, there are both pros and cons to this parenting style. It is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, so it is no wonder that children do not learn independence, and tend to suffer from low self esteem. Generally since authoritarian parents expect much of their child but do not explain the rules, the child is often confused, and can be frustrating.

With authoritarian parents, spankings, and hitting a child, whether a face slap or a bottom spank is the more likely form of punishment.

Because the rules and guidelines are so firm and strict, children tend to be poor at social situations, especially ones where they may be asked to take charge. They are always told what to do, and thus find it hard to think for themselves. This means that socially, they look to others for cues on how to respond, rather than responding the way they feel. This often results in children who rarely take the initiative, or see a need and fill it. The children also rarely take initiatives.

There are all kinds of lasting effects of this type of parenting. Children who grow up in extremely strict homes, where they expect an out lash or punishment when “rules” are not followed, whether they understand them or not, often later enter abusive relationships. They are typically too submissive to say no. Of course, there is also the other extreme where the child defies the parents and their rules, and gets involved in destructive behaviors such as drinking, drugs, unprotected sex, etc. It can even go further in that they might purposely choose a marriage partner their parents will disapprove of, or a career path they are not really interested in, merely out of spite.

In general, the results of authoritarian parenting are poor in the long run. Short term, they have well behaved children who follow rules, do well in school, and do not cause problems. Long term, they have poor socially adjusted children that lack creativity, and the ability to think for themselves and exercise independence.