The basic rule is, “Don’t do the assignments yourself.” It’s not your homework—it’s your child’s. “I’ve had kids hand in homework that’s in their parents’ handwriting,” one eighth-grade teacher complains. Doing assignments for your child won’t help him understand and use information. And it won’t help him become confident in his own abilities.
Here are some ways that you can provide guidance without taking over your child’s homework.
Help Your Child Get Organized
Help your child to make a schedule and put it in a place where you’ll see it often. Writing out assignments will get him used to the idea of keeping track of what’s due and when. If your child is not yet able to write, write it for him until he can do it himself.
A book bag or backpack will make it easier for your child to carry homework to and from school. Providing homework folders in which your child can tuck his assignments for safekeeping also can help him to stay organized.
Encourage Good Study Habits
Teachers generally give students tips on how to study. But it takes time and practice to develop good study habits. To reinforce good habits at home, you can:
-
Help your child manage time to complete assignments. For example, if your eighth grader has a biology report due in three weeks, discuss all the steps she needs to take to complete it on time, including:
- selecting a topic;
- doing the research by looking up books and other materials on the topic and taking notes;
- figuring out what questions to discuss;
- drafting an outline;
- writing a rough draft; and
- revising and completing the final draft.
Encourage your child to make a chart that shows how much time she expects to spend on each step.
-
Help your child to get started when he has to do research reports or other big assignments. Encourage him to use the library. If he isn’t sure where to begin, tell him to ask the librarian for suggestions. If he’s using a computer for online reference resources—-whether the computer is at home, school or the library—make sure he’s getting whatever help he needs to use it properly and to find age-appropriate Web sites. Many public libraries have homework centers with tutors or other kinds of one-on-one assistance. After your child has completed the research, listen as he tells you the points he wants to make in the report.
-
Give practice tests. Help your third grader prepare for a spelling test by saying the words as she writes them. Have her correct her own test as you spell each word.
-
Help your child avoid last-minute cramming. Review with your fifth grader how and what to study for his social studies test long before it’s to be given. You can have him work out a schedule of what he needs to do to, make up a practice test and write down answers to the questions he’s made up.
-
Talk with your child about how to take a test. Be sure she understands how important it is to read the instructions carefully, to keep track of the time and to avoid spending too much time on any one question. (See the Resources section for the titles of books and pamphlets that give more tips on how your child can get organized and develop good study habits.)
Talk about the Assignments
Talking and asking questions can help your child to think through an assignment and break it down into small, manageable parts. Here are some questions to ask.
-
Do you understand what you’re supposed to do? After your child has read the instructions, ask her to tell you in her own words what the assignment is about. (If she can’t read yet, the teacher may have sent home instructions that you can read to her.) Some schools have homework hotlines that you can call or Web sites that you can access by computer for assignments in case your child misplaced a paper or was absent on the day it was given. If your child doesn’t understand the instructions, read them with her and talk about the assignment. Does it have words that she doesn’t know? How can she find out what the words mean? If neither you nor your child understands an assignment, call one of her classmates or get in touch with the teacher.
-
Do you need help in understanding how to do this assignment? See if your child needs to learn more, for example, about subtracting fractions before she can do her assignment. Or find out if the teacher needs to explain to her again when to use different kinds of punctuation marks. If you understand the subject yourself, you may want to work through some examples with your child. However, always let her do the assignment herself.
-
Do you have everything you need to do the assignment? Sometimes your child needs special supplies, such as colored pencils, metric rulers, calculators, maps or reference books. Check with the teacher, school guidance counselor or principal for possible sources of assistance if you can’t provide the needed supplies. Check with your local library or school library for books and other information resources.
-
Does your answer make sense to you? To check that your child understands what he is doing, ask him to explain how he solved a math problem or have him summarize what he has written in a report.
Watch for Frustration
If your child shows signs of frustration, let him take a break. Encourage him and let him see that you know he can do the work.
Give Praise
People of all ages respond to praise. And children need encouragement from the people whose opinions they value most—their families. “Good first draft of your book report!” or “You’ve done a great job” can go a long way toward motivating your child to complete assignments.
Children also need to know when they haven’t done their best work. Make criticism constructive, however. Instead of telling a sixth grader, “You aren’t going to hand in that mess, are you?” say, “The teacher will understand your ideas better if you use your best handwriting.” Then give praise when the child finishes a neat version.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to