Meeting your teen’s first boyfriend is never an easy step to take as a parent. Here are five tips to make it easier:
1. Don’t air issues in front of them. Even if you told your daughter she could not have a boyfriend, the meeting of said boyfriend is not the time to bring it up. If you want to keep the relationship on solid ground, etc. you need to keep the meeting one of happiness and ease. So, don’t bring up any problems then and there, it will embarrass your child, and cause them to resent you for making them look foolish in front of their significant other.
2. Plan to keep it short. It can be hard to meet your child’s first boyfriend, and it gets much harder when you are trying to fill a long period of time with conversation, etc. So, instead of making it difficult on yourself and them, keep it nice and short. Have them come over right before you are leaving to go somewhere, or make some plans so that you can leave about ten minutes after you meet them. In that ten minutes you can learn the basics, and form a basic opinion about them, without the pressures and awkwardness of carrying on a conversation with someone in a completely different place in their life.
Get a photo of her boyfriend before you meet.
3. Have refreshments, or something on hand. One fantastic way to avoid any awkwardness is to have a distraction of some sort. One of the best is that of food. You can stick something in your mouth and chew while you think of responses, or questions. You can use refreshments as an ice breaker, and keep things light and fun.
4. Know what they look like before you meet them, as well as their name, etc. This way there is no confusion about who they are. It can be really disconcerting to meet a significant other of a child and see that they have a prominent facial piercing, or tattoo, or something else that is going to draw attention. Avoid staring, and being freaked out by it by knowing about it beforehand.
5. Have some guidelines prepared, but keep them fun. So, when you meet your teen’s first boyfriend, it can be a good time to lay down the rules, but do it in a way that does not embarrass your teen, or scare them off. For example, you can work things like curfews, and general dating rules into casual conversation. “We know you guys are very active and have lots of friends, just make sure you have our daughter home by eleven so she can get plenty of rest for school.” Or whatever the case may be. The point is, it is a good time to inform them of what you expect, but don’t be too overwhelming.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to