Parenting is tough, isn’t it? Parenting is perhaps one of the most difficult responsibilities most adults face. That is why the vast majority of parents make mistakes.
We can’t blame them though. After all, only psychologists know ALL about parenting. After having graduated with a degree in psychology, I learned that good parenting is a science, not an art. That is good news indeed!
Why? It means that there are scientifically proven ways of raising happy, confident, resilient, and well-behaved children. All we have to do is to read good parenting books or articles written by psychologists. When it comes to parenting, we don’t have to rely on guesswork or ‘commonsense’ anymore. Isn’t that wonderful?
Here are 5 parenting tips that will raise your children’s self-esteem.
1. Give your children eye contact.
Always give your kids eye contact when you speak with them or when they are trying to gain your attention. It shows them that they are important to you.
2. Respect your children.
Children have feelings and their feelings are easily hurt. Saying ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, and ‘excuse me’ work wonders on building our children’s self-esteem. It also teaches our kids to respect others and to be polite. And they will become more popular with their peers and teachers too.
3. Notice your children when they are good.
Many parents are firefighters. They rush in to the scene with sirens blaring when there is a disaster. And they ignore their kids when they are being good. Children who receive more criticism than praise in their childhood will end up having a low opinion of themselves. Instead of looking at the bad, it is better to pounce on our kids when they are good and praise them lavishly for it. Even naughty kids will become better behaved as a result for they crave our love and attention.
4. Be an impeccable role model.
No one is perfect, of course! The challenge is to change ourselves for the better when our kids are born. That is the time to quit smoking, using swear words, being sarcastic, acting irresponsibly and so on. You could get your spouse to remind you to be good when you are being naughty. I have asked my wife to point out to me when I misbehave. And I gleefully do the same for her.
For children, as for everyone else, actions speak louder than words. In time, your child will start behaving like you. A child who knows she is good will feel good about herself. If you don’t believe me, ask Mother Theresa.
5. Be a child. Sometimes.
The adult working world can be serious, grim, boring and nasty. It is difficult after a hard day’s work at the office dealing with bossy directors, irate customers, and backstabbing colleagues to let down your hair, put on your party hat and have a rollicking good time with your kids at home. However, give it your best shot.
Having fun is good for you and your kids. At the very least, you will keep that dreaded stroke or heart attack at bay! And live to a ripe old age to be bugged by your grandchildren.
Kris Murphy graduated with a degree in psychology from the University of Toronto. He spends most of his time writing articles on parenting and education, and raising his twins (a boy and a girl).
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to