5 Ways to Tame Temper Tantrums

When a child has a temper tantrum it can be really overwhelming, here are some tips and tricks for taming those tantrums:

1. Calm them down/distract them: Blow bubbles. One of the keys to taming a tantrum is the art of distraction. One of the best ways to distract a child is by blowing bubbles. Kids love bubbles, and if you can get them to start blowing them, the deep breaths they have to take to blow the bubbles will also work to calm them down. It is like a double whammy. The idea is to get them focused on something else so that they become calm enough to then discuss the behavior and figure out ways to improve it. Often a child has tantrums when they do not know how else to get out their frustration, or because they want attention. By giving them positive attention, in blowing bubbles you eliminate one problem, and by calming them down so that they can be more rational, you help with another.
2. Acknowledge them. Get on their level and acknowledge their frustration calmly. When doing this repeat back what they say so that they know you are hearing them. It is critical that you bend down so that you are eye to eye. Children often have tantrums when they feel like they are not being heard. So, get where they are, and then use their words when you repeat back to them. For example, you can say, “What is wrong?” And then they say, “I want candy.” Then you say, “I know you want candy, and it is frustration not to get any, but (then insert your rational reasoning).” This helps a child learn to use words to express emotions rather than tantrums.
3. Ignore them. If their tantrum is about getting attention, the best way to stop it, is to show them their attempt is futile. A child throwing a tantrum to make a point, or get attention from mom and dad will stop fairly quickly if they discover they have no one watching. So walk away and let them calm down before you will give them attention.
4. Count to three. It helps if you don’t get angry, just count, if they don’t stop by three, then put them in a timeout. When it is over, go back to what you were doing. If a tantrum starts, don’t say anything, just start counting. If by three they are not done, stick them in their room. When their timeout is over, resume behavior as normal, don’t talk about it, don’t put focus on it, just pick back up where you left off. They will soon learn a tantrum does not get them anywhere but on timeout.
5. Hold them. Many tantrums are outburst of insecurity, a kid needs to feel safe and loved, and their tantrum will calm. So, when a tantrum starts, laugh, pick them up, hug them, tell them you love them, and see if you can get them giggling.