- Make them laugh. A child will often throw tantrums over silly or inconsequential things. There are a million reasons why they throw tantrums, some have to do with insecurity, other times a child is stubborn, and sometimes they are just pushing you to see how far they have to push to reach the limits. One of the best things you can do to tame a tantrum is turn those screams into giggles. So, next time your child is thrashing about madly on the floor, do something silly, say something silly, or start tickling them so that the sobs and screams turn to shrieks and squeals or laughter.
- Either ignore it or acknowledge it. This sounds like contradictory advice, but the fact is kids have tantrums for a few reasons, some are to get attention, and others are to express frustration. If they are throwing a tantrum in order to get attention, walk out of the room and ignore them completely, as this will soon solve the problem, as kids do not want to put on a show if they have no one in the crowd watching. Ignore it until the tantrum is done. If they are throwing the tantrum out of frustration, then ignoring it won’t help, instead, acknowledge it, they need validation of their feelings. So, first, get on their level and acknowledge their frustration calmly. You want to be looking eye to eye with them. As you do this you want to repeat back to them what they have said. For example, if they say, “I don’t want to leave, I am having too much fun.” You would say, “I know you don’t want to leave because you are having so much fun, but we have other commitments” or whatever you need to say. The point is, repeating back what they say, informs them that you are listening and hearing them.
- Stop, drop, and roll. Okay for this one you are going to need to stop the child in the middle of a tantrum. Let them know that you are not going to put up with it. Then, have them take a little break from the activity, drop their head down, and sit for a minute to calm down, then roll on to another activity. Redirect them so that the behavior that lead to the tantrum initially does not get repeated.
- Don’t say what you are feeling, say what they are feeling. If your child is having a tantrum, do not tell them how upset you are at how they are acting, instead say, “You are mad because I won’t let you play at your friends.” Then, scoop them into your arms for a big hug. They might hate it, but it teaches them to express how they feel in words, rather than screams and fits. Every time they have strong feelings which they express emotionally through a tantrum, give them the building blocks to express it otherwise by doing it for them, then hugging them to let them know you care.
- Reason and hugs. When your child throws a tantrum, give them reasoning, by expressing that you understand why they feel the way they do, and why you won’t let them have what they want, or do what they want, then hug them to reassure them that you love them.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to