Battling Behavior Nightmares

Many kids present their parents with behavior nightmares such as insane tantrums, lying, stealing, bullying, and other things like not being willing to eat, etc. The job of a parent can be really difficult. The following are some tips for battling behavior nightmares:

Tip one: Get to the root of the behavioral issue. A number of experts have said that most children’s behavioral problems can be attributed to a few different reasons. They may be lacking attention from their parent or authority figure. They may not have the skills in place to deal with emotions and communicate needs. Or, they may be insecure, and acting out of illogical reasons in order to mask their insecurities. If you can figure out why your child is having behavioral problems, you can then address those problems.

Tip two: Learn to isolate the behavior from the child and address it calmly. This means do not call the child bad, but the behavior bad. Learn to find ways to cope with the behavior, then address it. Addressing any behavioral problem while angry or emotional yourself will escalate rather than eliminate the problem. So, always approach things with a calm outlook.

Tip three: Show consistency. Many behavioral problems escalate because parents are inconsistent with their reactions to it. One day the child may be sent to their room for not eating dinner, and the next, the behavior is ignored because the parent is in a good mood. This sends an inconsistent message to the child, and often leads to them pushing boundaries because they are unsure where those boundaries are. If you can be clear with your child about what behavior is acceptable and what is not, and consistent with the meting out of punishment when a child misbehaves, it is far less likely that you will end up battling behavior nightmares.

Most kids who have behavioral problems have parents who are unavailable either physically or emotionally. It is critical that you are there for your child. Be around, do not leave them in the care of others so much that you are not playing an active role in how they are being raised. Make sure they know you are going to monitor how they act, and that you will be there to step in when their behavior gets out of line.

If a child is misbehaving frequently it may have to do with a need for attention from a parent. They may feel like their parent is always busy with work and other obligations, and does not pay attention to them, and so to get that attention they act out. Avoiding this is not as simple as seeing them act out and then giving them attention, as this reinforces negative behavior. If possible avoid this, but if your child is already seeking your attention, talk to them about constructive ways of getting it. Then, make a real effort to make sure they feel secure about your love for them.