Using Timeouts to Discipline Your Child

Time outs can be an effective method for discipling a child. When done right, it gives the child some time away from others, a chance to think about and reflect on their behavior, and offers a redirect or place for a child to let their emotions calm, and get under control. Here are some tips for using time outs as an effective way to discipline a child:

Create the appropriate time out place. Although you can do a time out anywhere, it is best if you have a specific place that can serve as the time out location. The timeout location should be somewhat secluded so that they are not part of what is going on. It should not offer any means of entertainment, as that would defeat the purpose. It should also not be on their bed, or somewhere else that should not be negatively associated. For example, if you are trying to potty train a child, and make their timeout on the toilet seat, they will associate the toilet negatively, and this will make potty training much harder. Many people opt to use a “time out chair” which is a chair in a corner of a room designated solely for the use of time outs.

Never use them when you are angry. A time out is not a good idea if done in anger. You may be upset about the situation, but not let the anger show through, or it will negatively impact the effectiveness of the timeout, as instead of being a place where a child can gain control over their emotions, it will become a place where they fear loss of love from you, their parent, and their insecurities are fostered and grown. Instead, always reassure the child of your love, but make them sit through a time out.

Make sure they are the appropriate length. The length of a time out should be however long it takes for a kid to get their emotions under control, and behave appropriately. However, with this being an arbitrary time, it serves well to say one minute per year old the child is, with adjustments for severity of offense, etc. For example, if your six year old hits his sister, you could probably put him on a two or three minute time out instead of six. Whereas, if they try to drive the car, and run down your fence, you may lengthen it to ten minutes.

Be consistent. Time out times and reasons need to be consistent. If one day you stick your child in time out for not eating their lunch, then every time that same thing occurs, the same punishment needs to occur. A time out should not be given whenever you feel like it, rather as a specific consequence for specific misbehavior.

Never threaten if you can’t follow through. The worst thing you can do for yourself when looking to use time outs to discipline a child is to threaten one that you can’t or won’t follow through on. For example, if you are at the grocery store, and you threaten a time out, you don’t want to wait until you get home, as that disconnects the punishment from the misbehavior. So, choose a different means of discipline, or walk them out to the car for a time out before returning to the store.