Second Child Syndrome

There are some doctors or psychologists that believe that birth order plays a part in the kind of personality each child has. The following are some of the second child characteristics or traits exhibited because of birth order.

One of the important things to know is that often the second child has to seek out attention. Parents do not find it as easy to be excited about, or show attention to the second child when they have already been through all of the stuff with their first child. This does not mean that the parent does not love their child, but often the child feels somewhat neglected. In addition, they may use this to their advantage to manipulate their parents, and get what they want.

Second children often do things to get attention. However, as part of their frustration they may act out and pretend that they do not want attention or love, when they actually desperately do.

When someone has second child syndrome, they typically act out all the time. It only gets worse if the parent reprimands them constantly. So, a better solution would be to not allow it, but not chew them out for it either.

Another aspect of second child syndrome is intense sibling rivalry. Second children often find themselves being compared to their older sibling, which results in them always feeling somewhat inferior. This in turns tends to make them highly competitive, and a rivalry is typically born. If you want to avoid this part of the second child syndrome as a parent, you have to be very careful to never utter the words, “Why can’t you be like…” They won’t appreciate the comparison, and it won’t do anything for their personality, disposition, relationship with you, or esteem. And, usually it results in them doing the opposite behavior, just to get a rise out of you.

Second child syndrome is often accompanied with a negative attitude, anger, sarcasm, etc. from the child. This is not a good thing, and can often bring out the worst in parents. However, these are usually defense mechanisms to help them protect themselves from their rampant insecurities about not being as loves as the other, or oldest child. One of the best things you can do is be patient with these attitudes, and continually reassure them that they are loved.

Second child syndrome may result in a child who does not have a lot of motivation in life. They may be somewhat lazy when it comes to ambition. A lot of this stems from the belief that their efforts will be wasted, as no one will notice them, or care anyway, or that they are going to be letting the parent down regardless for not being exactly like the first child.

The best thing a parent can do for their second child to avoid problems with this is to simply make a real effort to give equal love and attention, and never make comparisons.