When dealing with teenage girls, consider the following:
1. Promote continually positive messages about themselves-
A) Girls often struggle with esteem. It is really important that teenage girls do not let their insecurities run rampant. This leads to all kinds of negative side effects. Inappropriately sexual behavior, wild styles, falling in with the wrong crowd, turning to improper or illegal things for attention, etc. all can be directly related to poor esteem. So, help teenage girls develop their talents, and changes are they will have far fewer esteem problems.
B) Girls need constant reinforcement about their worth. Without it they turn to boys to tell them they are of value, and let’s face it, as a teenager, boys are not a good one for this, as their views of girls are often short-sighted, and typically have to do with puberty.
C) Girls should feel secure that who they are is great. As girls go through puberty etc. they start to change, they may get pimples, their breasts may not develop as fast as other girls, they may put on weight etc. So, it is important to help a teenage girl like herself as she is, and not be worried about her appearance to the point that it leads to things like anorexia, etc.
2. Rules for parenting a teenage girl should be set and followed-
A) Consistency is the most important thing you can offer a teenage girl when it comes to dealing with them and their issues. Often teenage girls struggle because they just don’t know what to expect. The teenage years, friendships often change, bodies change, love comes and goes. Their life is not consistent, so they need consistency in discipline.
B) Understanding is a big part of parenting a teen. Teen girls need some sympathy and understanding from parents. Not getting the choir solo, or having a boy reject them may seem like nothing to you, but to a teenage it can mean the world. So offer a shoulder and some understanding.
C) Input from the teenage girl. When parenting a teenage girl, it is a good idea to ask for their opinion on the rules. They may help you set better rules, ones that they will actually follow. They can help you understand things like when a curfew should be because of when other kids are supposed to be in, etc.
3. Walk a mile in her shoes.
A) Recall that being a teen is not always easy. It is important to remember that life is not always easy for a teen. They may not have the real depth of problems adults have, but they have problems regardless.
B) Help them gain perspective and understand it is not long lasting. One of the best things you can do for a teen is help them recognize that high school, junior high, etc. are just a short part of their life, and won’t matter in the long run.
C) Let them make a few mistakes. It is how teens learn. But be there to guide them and help them along the way.
Q says
I find my self trying to adjust myself to her changes, but I also find myself going back and forth with her. I try not to do so much physical, but social. She has an answer for everything instead of listening. Then she wants to verbalize all of the time. i find the back of my hand on her lips and then she makes comments that I always hit her