Attachment parenting is a parenting style that uses the idea that as children grow up, if they form strong emotional bonds with their caregivers, it will lead to better socio-emotional development and well-being. There are basically eight parts to attachment parenting that increases a child’s secure attachment. These are as follows:
1. The time when you are preparing for pregnancy, birth and parenting.
2. Feeding a child with love and respect
3. Responding to the child with sensitivity
4. Using a nurturing touch
5. Ensuring safe sleep, physically and emotionally
6. Providing consistent loving care
7. Practicing positive discipline
8. Striving for balance in personal and family life
This sounds like it would be a good parenting style, encouraging children to form healthy bonds, and to have a secure sense of self. So, what are the criticisms of this type of parenting? And, why?
The first is that it is asking a lot of the parents. In other words, parenting in this style can be very strenuous and demanding on the parents. This parenting style encourages mothers to focus solely on being a mother, and leads to unrealistic expectations, especially without a support system of friends and family.
The next criticism is that it encourages co-sleeping. There have been several studies and reports showing that this is unsafe and can raise the risk of SIDS in small babies. In addition, it can lead to dependence on others to sleep, and can lead to poor or decreased sleep for the parent. All of which has negative consequences.
The next criticism is that the idea of attachment parenting is not really supported by conclusive research. In other words, this form of parenting is very difficult, and requires a lot of effort and work compared with other parenting styles, and there is not a conclusive or convincing body of research to support this as a superior style of parenting.
Another big criticism of this specific parenting style is that it is often ambiguous in usage. In other words, a man named William Sears came up with attachment parenting, and defined how to raise a child in the attachment parenting style. However, the term is often used in a variety of other parenting styles, which means that many people are not using the method properly, or getting the desired results because it is being diluted by other forms of parenting.
Another criticism is that the method of attachment parenting means that parenting basically becomes “Women’s work”. Kids are supposed to be cuddled to sleep, or sleep with their parents. They are supposed to be touched and held often. Care and discipline are supposed to be extremely consistent, making it a difficult parenting style for working mothers. It is labor and time intensive, which means the job of raising the children typically falls to the mother. In other words, many people feel it is a sexist parenting practice.
There are both criticism and praise for attachment parenting, so determine if it works for you.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to
Nice post! Being a parent is such a hard task but a fun experience but also you have to raise your children according to your values and in what you believe in. Nice job!
Jhona
I agree with one point: AP is confused with other things frequently.
This is one of those times.
Whether AP asks more from a parent than other forms of parenting is debatable.
Any type of parenting can be ultra strenuous on the parents. We all have to find what works for us. Attachment Parenting, gentle guidance – which basically means using discipline that teaches instead of arbitrary punishments that don’t teach the child – is easier for me and my husband.
Where are all of these studies that link co-sleeping to SIDS? Every study I have read has linked co-sleeping, when practiced safely, to a reduced occurrence of SIDS. SIDS used to be called crib death.
Regarding the “women’s work” theory. This is absolutely not true. I am a working mother. My husband is a working father. We co-parent, with equal responsibilities. The only thing he can’t do is breastfeed, but he can feed our daughter other foods.
In any type of parenting style, care and discipline should be “extremely consistent.” If it is not, it will not work.
You point out that there is both criticism and praise for Attachment Parenting, but offer only criticism with no studies to back up your affirmations.
I agree Asha,
This post offers no studies, nothing to back up the authors statements, it’s literally just a personal opinion, probably from someone who doesn’t practice AP.
The best advice is from parents who actually practice AP.
Also, so much info on this post is incorrect – in reality there’s an abundance of studies that affirm that things like wearing baby, breastfeeding on demand & using gentle discipline produces children that are compassionate, empathetic, more socially adjusted and more intelligent.
Also saying it’s ‘women’s work’ or that it’s ‘strenuous’ is rubbish, obviously from someone who doesn’t have a clue what it’s like.
Here’s some info on AP that’s backed up with studies:
http://naturalmamanz.blogspot.com/2011/04/exactly-what-is-attachment-parenting.html
not to mention that every new study seems to show that co-sleeping is not only as safe as or safer than crib sleeping (for parents not under the influence of drugs/alcohol/nicotine), but it also helps most families get MORE sleep.