Second Child Syndrome: The Overview

Birth order can affect your children especially the second child. Second child syndrome is a big problem in children, and something parents should be aware of. The following is a look at second child syndrome, and what parents can do to help ensure it does not affect their child too badly.

First, it is good to know that it is outside of your control. It is totally natural to be less excited about the first of a second child because you have been through it all before. When you see your second child do things you have seen before you can’t help but be a little less awed by it. However, this natural reaction is what causes your second child to feel less important. It is what causes them to have insecurities about their worth.

Second, it is good to understand the symptoms of second child syndrome. Because a child gets less attention as they grow up, they often feel like they are worth less attention. Because a child is not getting the attention from a parent that they may need, they will have a faster disconnect. They will become independent much more quickly, and learn to rely on themselves, not their parents.
Pay attention to all of your kids.
Third, parents should know how to help alleviate some of the symptoms of second child syndrome. It is not going to be easy, kids who are second children, and suffer from second child syndrome are usually resistant to the efforts made by parents. When a parent starts to give them more attention, they star to question the efforts. They wonder what lies behind it. They want to know the motivation. They may say things like “I hate you.” They may act like a jerk. It may be hard, but chances are it will wear off, and if you give up during it, you prove them right.

Learn to treat your child the same as your other child or children. Never compare them, and find ways to control your reactions, etc. so that you can make your child feel like they are on equal footing. You don’t want to ignore poor behavior, or anything else, but you also don’t want to over-react either.

Your child will employ defense mechanisms, and they will likely be a chronic underachiever because rather than be less than their siblings, and risk failing, they never really try. This can lead to more and more self-confidence issues. It is hard to not have some insecurity when you feel like you are not as loved as your older sibling.

Second child syndrome does not have to debilitate them, but as a parent the best thing you can do is when you realize the issues they are having is to try to do better. Try to give them the attention they crave and need. Help them know that despite what they may think, they are loved, and valued, and that you want them.