I got home a little after 7 pm this Halloween. I’m usually home later than that thanks to my 2 hour commute. But that day I rushed to get home so that my 8 year-old’s Halloween wouldn’t be ruined by the unexpected snow storm that had led to school (and in some places Trick Or Treating) being canceled across our state.
Since our neighborhood is very rural, with no sidewalks and the houses neither close to the road nor one another, I called ahead and told our son to be dressed in his full “Mario” from Mario Brothers costume and ready to jump in the car as soon as I got to the house.
A short drive later, my pint sized “Mario” was happily ringing doorbells in a lovely part of town filled with seasonally decorated houses lining a manicured cul-de-sac and buzzing with trick-or-treaters.
He was especially happy after visiting one home at which the woman who greeted him at the door gave him a special reward – extra candy for being the first and only trick-or-treater of the night to say “Thank you.”
{Pause while you too reflect on that sad commentary, particularly when you consider our late start.}
While I was very proud of him for doing what he’s supposed to do, it made me wonder…with Thanksgiving just around the corner, how can we as parents teach our kids the truer, deeper meaning of the upcoming holiday season?
I mean, kids learn some version of the history of the first “Thanksgiving” in America in school each year, but if our experience trick-or-treating on the cul-de-sac on a day when our town could have easily canceled it like other towns in our state did is any indication, these history lessons aren’t enough.
So after hugging my mini-“Mario” and letting him know I was proud of him for doing the right thing, I thought about three things that all of us can do to teach our kids how to keep the “thanks” and the “giving” in Thanksgiving.
#1) Say Grace – OK, so maybe you’re not what you consider to be the “religious type.” That’s ok. It; only take a minute to give thanks for the bounty you’re about to enjoy. You don’t need to be preachy or long-winded either—especially when that’s all that stands between you and a nice meal!You can keep it short, sweet and sincere with a succinct prayer like this one, which I learned through osmosis and repetition at my Grandma’s table growing up:
Lord, make us truly thankful for the food we are about to enjoy for the nourishment and strength of our bodies. Bless the hands that prepared it and may we use the gift of your bounty to do thy will and be of greater service to others. Amen.
Regardless of your faith, or if you’re eating alone or with a table of “non-believers”, you can always take a moment to give thanks and acknowledge where your Blessings come from—it’s a sure fire way to make room for even more!
#2) Let your kids help – Let your kids participate in the planning of the menu, setting the table, washing the dishes and even preparing the meal.
This doesn’t mean you should let your 3rd grader fry and stuff the turkey. But with a little creativity, you can involve them in the preparation of your meal.
When our now teenage daughter was younger, I’d let her be my taste tester while preparing Christmas dinner. Then, she graduated to measuring and handing me certain utensils and ingredients. As she got older, I’d talk her through how to make or prep one dish or while I worked on another.
My Mom and my Grandma used to let me knead the dough when they made rolls and honey buns from scratch for Santa each year—a tradition that taught me how to bake these special treats for my own family and Santa to this day.
The point is…get your kids involved in the process of preparing your holiday meals in some way. Then, let your dinner guests know how they helped and watch your kids’ faces light up with pride and glee as they are thanked and recognized for their contribution.
They will soon learn to love the feeling they get from helping others.
#3) Volunteer together – As an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., an organization dedicated to providing “service to all mankind”, I try to take my daughter with me to as many of our community service programs as possible.This includes the annual coat drive that I coordinate each year on behalf of our chapter.
I do this so she can see positively-oriented women from all walks of life who look like her and value things like education, sisterhood and service. I also do it as a hands on lesson in the importance of giving back.
She loves coming to coat drive, feed the children or even helping us raise money for our scholarship programs by working concessions at a nearby university’s football games. Inspired by the example set by me and my sorority sisters, she volunteered to serve as team captain in an annual food drive held at her middle school last year. She now serves on the freshman student council at her high school…so trust me, your kids DO listen and pay attention!
Similarly, my son just became a Cub Scout and I’m thrilled to learn that his Pack regularly does community service. At his very first meeting, he impressed me and the other parents by asking one of the Pack Leaders what he could do to help clean up without prompting! Needless to say I’m thrilled that he gets what is important even when the prospects of getting free candy aren’t involved.
But even if you don’t have structured opportunities to serve through church, school or an organization there are many local charities who welcome volunteers. Sites like www.volunteermatch.org and www.serve.gov are great places to start.
In the 1973 television special A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, the following exchange takes place between Marcie and Charlie Brown after things fall apart at the makeshift meal he tries to pull together to please his friends who show up for dinner unexpectedly:
Marcie: Don’t feel bad, Chuck. Peppermint Patty didn’t mean all those things she said. Actually, she really likes you.
Charlie Brown: I don’t feel bad for myself, I just feel bad because I’ve ruined everyone’s Thanksgiving.
Marcie: But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that’s what they mean by ‘Thanksgiving,’ Charlie Brown.
Hmmmmmm.
Maybe I should add “watch this DVD with your kids each year” (as I do!) as item #4 on my list!
Any other ideas? Please share and have a safe and happy holiday!
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to
this post so nice and interesting one to read.
Very nice post! I admire you for being a real mom by teaching your children this good value. I do the same also with my kids. We pray together to give thanks, I involved them to some things to be able for them to appreciate how lucky they are. I really like the idea of involving our kids in some community service because this is the simple way to show them that they are very lucky and blessed. Thanks for sharing this is really an inspiring post.