“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum
The word responsibility can conjure fears of back-breaking chores, time spent away from friends and other forms of misery in children. For parents, teaching children responsibility can seem like a recipe for tantrums and power struggles. But teaching basic responsibility to kids doesn’t have to be a tiresome chore. Numerous research studies indicate that children learn best when they’re having fun. Contrary to popular belief, tasks geared toward responsibility really can be enjoyable for both you and your child.
Developmental psychologist Richard Weissbourd argues in his book, “The Parents We Mean to Be” that social responsibility is one of the most important things parents can teach children. Responsible children are better-equipped to become independent adults, have stronger social relationships and have fewer behavior problems. Teaching your child to be responsible now can save both you and your child much difficulty down the road. Here are 3 great ways to teach your child responsibility while still having fun:
Caring For a Pet
When I was growing up, we had a cocker spaniel named Lady. She was with me most of my childhood years, and I have special memories of her. Images of children and their beloved dogs occupy an iconic place in history. Unfortunately, the beloved and much-wanted dog often becomes little more than a hassle. Your child might be eager to walk the cute puppy, but when that cute puppy becomes an unruly adult, the task might fall to you. When kids neglect animals, they learn that it’s acceptable to pawn their responsibilities onto other people. Perhaps even more importantly, animal neglect harms a living being. Problematic animal behaviors such chewing, jumping, and not responding to basic commands are frequent consequences of this neglect, and can make family life stressful. Your kids can help with the important aspects of training your dog, such as puppy pad training, sit, lay down, stay, and even come!
Caring for a pet doesn’t have to be stressful or confrontational. The key is to keep your expectations reasonable. I’ve heard dozens of parents say to their kids, “Now, if you get this hamster, I’m not going to take care of it. You have to!” This is an unreasonable expectation for small children and sets them up for failure. Moreover, it teaches children that caring for pets is a tedious, arduous task. Instead, when your child gets a pet, accept that you will have to care for the pet too. Pick two or three fun pet tasks that your child can do. These might include decorating a reptile’s cage, playing fetch every day with a dog or chasing a hamster around in its ball. Reward your child for completing these tasks. As she becomes a more competent pet owner, enlist her assistance in more mundane tasks such as feeding, cage cleaning, and poop scooping.
Remember that by modeling responsible pet care to your child, you create a strong incentive for her to eventually take over pet care herself. Children love imitating the things adults do because it makes them feel grown up. If you neglect your child’s pets because he “promised” to care for them, you only make it more likely that he’ll continue to neglect them. If, however, your child sees you diligently caring for pets, in no time, you’ll be teaching him the how to clean your dog’s teeth and watching him excel at the task in no time! And you won’t have to do that anymore!
Volunteer Projects for Children
Volunteer work is often associated with boring tasks such as picking up litter, canvassing for charitable donations and gathering canned goods for the homeless. These sorts of volunteer projects are unlikely to inspire children to continue volunteering. Instead, children need volunteer projects that utilize their talents and allow them to see the positive results of their actions.
Consider allowing your child to volunteer as a dog walker at the local animal shelter. Your child will have fun playing with adorable dogs and will also watch shy, frightened dogs blossom into happy animals under her care.
Volunteer baby-sitting projects are ideal for teenagers. Contact your local Red Cross, community college or church to see if they need help with childcare.
Volunteer work teaches your child that not everyone has the things she has. This can be an eye-opening experience that encourages lifelong volunteerism and a dedication to community responsibility.
Rewards for Kids
Many parents are hesitant to “bribe” their children into responsible behavior. But the truth is that rewards work. Children under 10 frequently can’t understand concepts like social responsibility and instead look for rewards. Older kids also benefit from rewards because the reward serves as evidence that people notice their outstanding behavior.
I loved gold stars growing up – my goal was to fill up the row across, and columns down. Consider giving your child a “gold star” chart. Place it on the refrigerator, and every time she exhibits responsible behavior, give her a sticker. When the chart is full, give her a reward such as a toy or special outing. Older kids frequently enjoy “get out of jail free” cards. Give your child a “free pass” when she exhibits especially responsible behavior. This pass can get her out of time out, allow her to go to bed an hour later or break some other minor rule.
Without individual responsibility, society can’t be healthy. As Charles C. Noble once said, “First we make our habits, then our habits make us.” Make good habits for your child, so that she can grow into a healthy and contributing member of the larger world community.
About the Author:
Jane Warren loves all types of animals and has played foster mother to numerous critters. She is a freelance writer specializing in family and animal topics, and her valuable insights have guided numerous families to happier, more fulfilled lives. Seeing children enjoy their pets, and learn responsibility at the same time, is encouraging as it is a “win-win” situation for all.
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I really like the idea teaching the kids to be responsible. Recently I bought a pair of hamsters for my two children for them to take care of. I teach them the right way to take care of them and after, I allow them to do it by themselves. At first, the routine does not follow very well but as day goes by I saw the changes on them. They feed the hamster on the right time, they clean the cage and play with the hamster. As a reward I will buy them a puppy next month.