Before I had children, I was a very organized and clean individual. I lived by the rule of “a place for everything and everything in its place.” Much of that changed once I had children, especially when those children entered into toddlerhood. It seemed that every time I took a step, there was a Lego or Barbie Doll underneath my feet. For someone that was once so orderly, this was becoming quite the frustration for me. Not only were there toys strewn from one end of the house to the other, but the laundry and the dishes and even the dust bunnies seemed to have quadrupled. And what’s worse? I was the only one picking things up.
I was in desperate need of a change. I began thinking, if my kids were old enough to take out their own toys or to pick out their own clothes, than surely they were old enough to start putting those things away. I considered making a chore list for our family and envisioned us looking at it each morning or evening to see what our responsibilities were and awarding my children with little star or happy face stickers. But really? My husband and I both work full time, we have an hour long commute to and from work every day and my eldest daughter is in karate two nights out of the week. If I barely had time to peel the Barbie hair off of my heels than how was I supposed to have the time to put happy little stickers on a chore list? Much less find the time to even make the chore list? It just wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I took my children’s ages into consideration, three and four, and thought about what types of chores they’d be able to do and what would work best for our family in order to get those chores done.
The first rule that was established in our household was that my children were not allowed to take out another toy until they put away the toy(s) that they were no longer interested in playing with. I admit there was a tantrum or two thrown when this rule was first enlisted but once the children realized how much easier it was for them to even find their toys when they put them back where they belonged, it didn’t seem so bad after all and the tantrums over cleaning up their toys finally ceased. Another chore that my children began to do was helping with the laundry. There was a time that they’d run through the house stripping off their clothes, leaving a shirt in one room and their pants in another, before getting into their pajamas. You can imagine what sort of disaster area my house must have looked like after a Monday through Friday of this madness. I placed a laundry basket in their bathroom and told them that it was their responsibility to make sure that their dirty clothes made it into the basket. If they didn’t, their clothes wouldn’t get washed. After a few days of, “Mommy, where’s my kitty cat shirt?” or “Mommy, where are my purple flower pants?” they learned that they’d be rocking their dirty clothes for days if they didn’t put their clothes in the basket. And guess what? They started putting their clothes in the basket.
I also realized that if they were old enough to play with the broom or the vacuum and pretend to clean, than they were old enough to actually help clean. They weren’t well equipped to sweep the floor, but they could hold the dust pan for me and because we have a light weight canister vacuum, they could easily drag it around and vacuum. I don’t force them to vacuum the entire house, though. I allow them to pick an area they want to clean, even if it’s only half of the living room floor, and that’s the area that they are responsible for vacuuming. They also help me out by gathering any dirty dishes and bringing them to the sink for me (with the exception of sharp knives or utensils, of course) and they help me put dishes into the dishwasher.
Since my children are still quite young, they actually enjoy helping me. They like that they have responsibilities and it makes them feel useful, helpful and appreciated. It also allows a busy working mother like me to spend quality time with my kids, because as we are helping each other we get to talk to one another without distractions about work or television, etc. And the best part is that, after a Friday night or early Saturday morning full of cleaning after barely having been home for a week, we get to spend time together as a family playing outside or at the park or just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company in a nice, clean household.
So, when it comes to choosing chores for your children, be sure to take their age into consideration and think about what they are capable of accomplishing. Award them with family time and/or an allowance and try to make the chores more of a group activity. Don’t kick back in your recliner watching the football game while your kids are breaking a sweat cleaning for you – join in and set a good example. The chores will become less like work over time and more like a set of goals to accomplish so that your family can spend time together.
Kelly BR blogs at wordsbykellyblog.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to
I definitely believe in giving kids chores. When I worked with teenagers I found that many of them didn’t know the first things about washing up or vacuuming. Parents who raise kids like this is doing them a disservice.
We really need to give chores for our children to be more responsible. Thanks for the post you give me an idea what are the appropriate chore to different ages of children.
Giving our children a chores is not bad. I started giving my kids a simple chores at age 4 like keep all the toys after playing, after taking a bath make sure their clothes go directly to laundry basket. by doing this I am training them to be responsible.