A string of relationships turned into mayhem can make any woman feel miserable. Sometimes, even the attractive, well-mannered, and smart women become entangled in a series of failed relationships. If your relationship history has been a continuous series of tragic romance, it does not necessarily mean that you have to blame everything on bad luck.
Yes, it is tempting to ascribe every dysfunctional relationship you have had to bad luck because it is way easier to say that the universe have been playing a very sick joke on you that all your relationships have been a succession of heartbreaks. However, not every failed relationship should be blamed to bad luck, because most of time, it is the bad decisions that couples make why their relationships end up to chaos.
Instead of blaming bad fate on the outcome of your relationships, you should learn to be aware of the way you make choices and decisions in the different aspects of pursuing a relationship. Prior to entering another relationship, it is important that you determine what you need to improve within yourself to be a better partner. Consequently, you also need to assess what you really want to gain in your future relationship and zero in on the things that you can give for the sake of making the next one work for the best.
Sometimes, blaming everything to bad luck is the easiest escape from fleshing out the true reasons of every breakup you have had in the past. However, it will be more beneficial for you and your future partner if you stop turning sour over your bad relationship record and becoming more introspective and positive about making long-lasting romantic connections. Read on for some tips on how to put an end on your bad record of failed relationships.
Stop Blaming Yourself for Every Failed Romance
A series of failed encounters with romance is severely disappointing and discouraging, but it should not be a complete and sole reflection of what you are as a person. Doubting your self-esteem and your capability of handling a relationship will not make you a better person or a desirable partner for your next relationship. Yes, asking yourself about what you have done wrong in the previous relationship can be good especially if you are trying to really determine what went wrong with the relationship.
However, asking yourself that question consistently and mercilessly can be exhausting and can undermine you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
You do not have to put the blame on bad luck, but you certainly do not have to fully blame yourself. It is okay to admit that you have made mistakes and awful decisions that have turned your previous relationship sour, but this does not necessarily mean that you have to take full credit for wrecking your relationship. You do not need to be fully responsible for the loss. Remember that a relationship is something that has to be worked on by two individuals; hence, not everything that is wrong about your relationship should be pinned to you.
Start Making the Right Decisions
One good thing about having a sequence of dysfunctional relationships is that you can learn from your mistakes to help you make better decisions in the future. If you have become a pain in the ass as a girlfriend before or have become too manipulative that you end up hurting the person you loved badly, try not to make the same mistakes unless you want to gain the same upsetting consequences from your next relationship. In addition, you also need to remember that just because you have consciously made a different decision this time does not necessarily mean that things will turn up well for your next relationship. You always need to use your head each time you let yourself be part of an encounter with love.
Stop the Relationship Hop
Making the right choices is also crucial before entering a relationship. For instance, if most of your past relationships came to be for all the wrong reasons, then you should be more careful this time before becoming part of one. Keep in mind that you do not need to be in a relationship just for the sake of having one. If you keep on jumping from one relationship to another without giving yourself the amount of time you needed to move on from your previous relationship, then you will only end up becoming inhibited in fully investing emotionally on your next relationship.
After every breakup, you need to give yourself enough time to move on from the devastating heartbreak. Get re-acquainted with yourself and earn enough confidence and self-respect before you get back into the dating scene. Engaging in another relationship without having fully recovered from the breakup will be completely unfair for the other person since he clearly does not want to be a part of your rebound relationship. Give yourself time to resolve the fears and insecurities you have carried from one breakup to another in order to be able to give your best self fully to your next relationship.
A sequence of breakups is truly devastating. However, knowing to learn from your past mistakes and giving yourself enough quality time to resolve any emotional baggage you have been carrying will help you become a better person when it is time to consider the possibility of engaging in a new relationship.
About the Author: Elizabeth Davis has 20 years of experience as a relationship adviser. She writes and shares more relationship tips and marriage advice on her blog Relationshipsadvice.co.
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