I have raised two children and have babysat more than my share of nieces and nephews and I know for a fact that things you say and do come back to bite you. Even things you think are innocent and even things that you think are good things to teach your children can rear their heads in an unusual or ugly way sometimes. Some things just can not be prevented or foreseen when it comes to our children. Sometimes it is hysterical, sometimes embarrassing, and sometimes it is simply shocking. But it is never, ever boring when you are dealing with babies and toddlers.
We were taking my daughter to Sunday school from the time she was born and we were always telling her Bible stories and reading the Bible to her and around her. She learned right from the start what the Word of God said and that little sweet angel took everything very seriously, as we all should but seldom do. She learned that you should never take the Lord’s name in vain, that was one of the Ten Commandments and that was that.
One particular day as we were walking through the mall (my daughter was about two and a half at this time) she overheard someone taking the Lord’s name in vain. I really do not know how she picked this guy out of the crowd because it was crowded and we were just walking through the crowd. She turned and looked at this guy and said, “Thou shalt not take the Lord thy God’s name in vain.” The look on his face was priceless and for anyone else to say this to him probably would not have had a good ending. But probably because she was so tiny and sweet with huge brown chocolate eyes that were more than sincere he accepted it. He began to apologize to her profusely and had a look of total embarrassment on his face as he walked away. I was taken aback and did not know exactly how to respond to my sweet little girl. She was right in what she had learned but who knew she would run around correcting perfect strangers?
When my daughter was about four years old we were visiting my aunt’s house and she had a new gentleman caller over for supper. Everything was going fine until after dinner when we stepped outside to sit in the garden and have coffee. The gentleman caller pulled out cigarettes and lit one up. I could see the gears turning in my little girl’s head as we sat there. I knew she was not accustomed to seeing someone light up a cigarette after dinner and I was wondering what was going through her head. I did not have to wonder for too long. She looked him square in the eyes and said, “Cigarettes will kill you, they will give you cancer.” And we had never even discussed cigarettes in our house because no one smoked in our immediate family. I guess she had seen the anti-smoking commercials on television and she was a believer. The poor guy did not know exactly what to say or do at this point and he sort of sat there with a stunned look on his face for a couple of seconds. Then he proceeded to drop the cigarette, put it out with his foot, and tell her that she was right. Powerful words come out of little mouths and how can you argue?
Years later we are still laughing with my aunt about that incident. He left within about half an hour of her telling him about his cancer sticks. My aunt looked over at us all and said, “Well, I probably will not see him again.” I did correct my girl and we had a nice little talk about not saying anything about smoking to people if we did not know them well. She agreed and seemed to understand. I did not correct her at two about taking the Lord’s name in vain because she would not have understood my reasoning. Just beware that anything the little ones hear is fair game, good or bad.
I knew she was very aware at this point of what she was saying and she was not just parroting what she had heard because we had just recently had an incident with a pumpkin turned jack-o-lantern. We had carved one for the porch and she was so pleased with our masterpiece. She went out to visit it every day. One day when she went out she came back in crying because the pumpkin was shriveling up and falling apart. She did not understand why, so I started to explain how when things are not on the vine any more that they begin to die and will eventually go back into the soil. All at once she got a look on her face and her eyes brightened. She said, “Oh, I know what happened! It disintegrated! I learned all about that on Bill Nye the Science Guy!” And the topic was closed. So I knew very well she understood everything she was hearing on television.
My son came along seven years after my daughter and we had a few issues with him as well but they were a little bit different. These came from watching too much Lady and the Tramp. He picked up a couple of things from this movie, it was his absolute favorite and he watched it over and over again. One of the things he picked up from this movie was Tramp’s attitude as a whole. I am sure most of you have seen this movie in your lifetimes but if you have not then I will explain. Tramp was a dog without a home and out on his own. He was cocky and well able to fend for himself in the world and when a pack of dogs came along and caused him trouble he took care of business. And when he was done with them he would take his back legs and kick up a little dirt in their direction as if to say, “I have won, I am top dog, and I am putting you in my dust.” Well, whenever my son did something he thought was great or he had won or if he really did not want to hear what you were saying he would pretend to kick back some dirt and walk away. I have to say as a parent it was pretty cute at the age of five and six but I knew that it was not a good attitude and it would not go over well with his teachers in school. We had to do some talking about it and tell him that he could be funny with it but do not use it with an attitude or there would be trouble. It took us awhile, if you know what I mean.
Another incident that also came from this same movie came in the form of a song. If you have seen the movie you may recall when the aunt came to take care of the baby while the parents were away she brought her Siamese cats. They were awful cats that took over the house and of course spoke with an oriental flair.
Well, my son and I had stopped to get a tank of gas on afternoon at a local gas station. I wanted to run my car through the car wash after we were done. This particular car wash had a meter that took quarters and I rolled down my window and started to deposit my money in the meter. I heard what sounded like my quarters hitting the pavement so I opened up the door and to my surprise saw that the money was going in and coming straight out. When I looked there was something like fifty quarters right there on the ground under the meter! I thought people must have been driving through and did not hear the money fall on the ground and just thought the car wash was broken.
I picked up all the coins and decided I should take them into the gas attendant inside. My thinking was that those people must have gone in and asked for their money back so I should turn it in. I had a tissue full of dirty quarters in one hand and my son who was about six years old in the other. There were about five people ahead of us and I noticed that the attendant did not speak very good English. She was an Asian woman with limited English language skills. The gas station was particularly busy that day and there was a long line of people behind us as we got to the front of the line. I started to explain about the meter and the quarters and all I got from her was, “Yes, car wash takes quarters, put in outside.” I tried several times to explain to her what was happening with her car wash but she refused to take my quarters and told me to put them in the machine outside.
I finally gave up and decided I would just have to take my quarters and leave. My son was getting impatient and wanted to go home as was the line of people behind us. As we were walking away from the attendant my son began to sing, and not only sing but move his body in a little oriental walk of sorts. He was singing the song the Siamese cats sang in Lady and the Tramp. “We are Siamese if you please, we are Siamese if you don’t please.” My face turned beet red and everyone standing in the line became to break out into laughter. The only consolation I had was that I do not believe the attendant knew the meaning of what my son was doing but everyone else certainly did. Who knew he would make that correlation between this oriental lady and the Siamese cats in the movie?
We laugh about all this today but it still amazes me what came out of my children’s mouths. You never know what your little one is going to come out with. Never think for one minute that they are too little to understand or that they do not know what is going on because you will be taken by surprise! Someday you will have something to look back and laugh about. Someday.
This guest post is contributed by Debra Johnson, blogger and editor of www.liveinnanny.com. She welcomes your comments at jdebra84@gmail.com.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to