Relationship Dimensions

All of our relationships are multi–faceted, meaning there are many dimensions. It does not really matter what type of relationship it is, love, or friendship, there are going to be dimensions that cause ups, downs, and sometimes lead to the disillusionment of the friendship.

While there are many dimensions, there are really only three factors in a relationship— You, the person you are relating with and the type of relationship. So, let’s take a look at a few of the dimensions in a relationship and how they affect the health of the relationship:

1.The friendship. No matter what kind of relationship you have, love or otherwise, there has to be some sort of basis in friendship. If you do not have enough compatibility to be friends, what are you doing being lovers? So, first look at your friendship levels; do you share hopes and dreams with one another? Do you go out like friends and have a good time? Do you talk on the phone? Think about what makes someone friends, and make sure you have those elements, or your relationship will suffer.

2.The love. The next dimension worth considering is the dimension of love. Even friends have love for one another. So, ask yourself how much you love the person. How much do they love you? How is your love for one another different? It is essential that you ask yourself this and consider your love. Do you just love how they look, or do you love how they make you feel? Within each dimension and facet there are usually many more levels and things to consider. With love, if you want your relationship to be healthy, you have to have unselfish love. You have to find joy in being around the person, even if it does not benefit you in any other way.

3.The fun factor. In relationships there has to be a fun factor. So look at yours. Relationships, even marriages, can’t always just be about the bills, the to–do list, the kids, or the job. If you make your relationship about everything else, and leave out the fun factor, you lose the health of the relationship. Someone can be good looking, rich, well educated, etc. but if you do not have fun when you are with them, how great can the relationship really be? So, evaluate the fun factor and improve where necessary.

4.The shoulder. One dimension of a relationship is the level of trust, labeled here as the shoulder, meaning a shoulder to cry on. So you need to pay attention to this dimension as it can also make or break a relationship. If you do not have a good trust built, where you know that you can open yourself up to the person and make yourself vulnerable without them exploiting it, you have no relationship at all. So, ask yourself how comforting their shoulder is to cry on. Are you left feeling comforted, or feeling less of yourself, vulnerable, and stupid? This is an important dimension.

The dimensions of a relationship are what make it fun, and are what help to determine the strength. So, look at all aspects, all facets, all dimensions and quiz yourself about whether or not you have a good strong relationship with health in all dimensions, or if there are places that are lacking. If there are places lacking, fix the problem, or end the relationship; you need health in all dimensions for a relationship to survive. It is like school; you have to maintain a B average to get into higher education.