Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say

A lot of times you say things you do not mean; this is very damaging to relationships. Communication is the key to any relationship. Saying things you do not mean is bad communication. When you have bad communication, lots of problems will crop up at unexpected places. For example, you may say something jokingly on Monday, and on Friday they finally bring it up, and at that point you do not even know what to say to make things right. It would be better to just not say things you do not mean at all.

What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. When you say things that can be taken the wrong way, or that are not well thought out, you can create cracks and fissures in what was once a strong relationship. So, make sure that you consider how the listener will take what you say. Ask yourself what signs you have given, or clues you have provided that will help them know what you mean. The listener only picks up your words and makes their own interpretation, so be sure before you say something that you know how it will be interpreted.

Choosing the right words while communicating is important. If you know about your partner’s sensitivities, you have to be very careful while talking, even in jest. For example, if your partner is insecure about their looks or their weight, you should never joke about these things. Never call them a pig, or say “Fat chance” about something unrelated because they may take it the wrong way. If you do not really think they are a fat pig, even joking, don’t call them one. Saying things you do not really mean, even in jest, is disrespectful, and can be hurtful. Some of the comments that stick with us the longest are the ones that were said jokingly.

Also, to ensure you do not say things that you do not mean when it comes to sensitive subjects for your partner, make sure your tone is perfect and that you are careful while speaking. You never know when you will hurt your partner’s feelings by being careless, so avoid this by thinking out what you are going to say before you say it. This communication care is very important, even if it does seem a bit extreme. If the relationship is already going bad and you wish to save it, you need to be extra careful, and if it is going well, you want to keep it that way so the same applies.

It is important to know where your relationship stands. Take for example the sisters who were great friends, or so they thought. They talked every day on the phone, and enjoyed getting together as often as possible. One day they had a stupid argument, and one sister knowingly said something hurtful, assuming the other would get over it and know that she did not really mean it. Well, today the two have barely any relationship to speak of, only talking casually at family functions. All of this could have been avoided if the first sister would have said only things she meant, and avoided being hurtful. So, hold you tongue, think through your speech and the consequences of it, and you will enjoy better, long lasting, and stronger relationships.

Really, it’s all about being considerate. Grandma was right when she said, “Think before you open your mouth!” and “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”