Moms and dads feel concern for their children in all stages of life. Many people think that their kids will move out, get married, and they will stop worrying about them. However, this is just not so. Your worries change, but you worry just the same:
Their financial state. Many parents, especially those who are in a good place financially, often worry about their children’s financial status after they are married. It can be hard for children from affluent families to marry and not have the same comfort and stability they had previously. Many newly married couples expect to have the same things that their parents have acquired over a lifetime. Parents want their children to be responsible, and to make their own way, however, when they see their child struggle to pay bills, or if they see their children getting into debt, they worry. The best thing you can do is help where you can with out enabling poor financial sense, and teach your children proper money skills before they leave the nest.
The state of their marriage. This is something many parents worry about. Marriage is not necessarily an easy road, and parents know this. They do not want to see their children suffer because they are fighting with their spouse or having trouble. No parent wants to see their child’s marriage fail. Parents worry about whether or not their children are kind to their spouse, and treat them with love and respect. Parents worry about whether or not they taught their child good conflict resolution skills so that they can overcome trials in marriage. If this is a worry you as a parent have, you can always buy books on marriage for your children, politely share with them beads of wisdom, and just encourage them and help them to take their marriage seriously and make their spouse their best friend.
Their choices for the future. Many newly married couples get themselves into mountains of debt. They go for quick and easy money instead of getting an education to help them long term. They may choose to indulge themselves at every turn instead of saving for family and future. Many parents worry about the small decisions their married children make, from the things they choose to eat, to how late they stay up, to how they spend their money. They wonder if their choices are going to positively or negatively affect their future? If this is a worry you have, it is always a good idea to help them understand some of the wise choices they can make, and some of the poor. Many newly married children do not realize that this or that decision is going to have as long term of an affect as it has.
Their health. One of the big worries parents have for their married children is their health. Up to the point of marriage, most parents have some influence and say on things such as when their child goes to sleep, what foods they eat, whether they indulge in alcohol, tobacco, etc. Once a child is married, whether they go to bed at 10 pm or 2 am, it is not the parent’s say. If they want to eat pie for breakfast, they can. If they choose to drink a six pack of beer with dinner, as a parent there is only so much you can do. Also, as a parent with married children, you are starting to see how some of your choices affected your health in the long run. You worry that your children may be making poor decisions that can hurt them long term.
These are just a few of the things that you may worry about related to your adult children. Just realize you’re not alone in your worry, but as much as it may hurt to see your children make mistakes, they are adults now. The best you can do is love them!
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to