“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” Thich Nhat Hanh
I am so blessed to be able to say that my mom is still with me. She and I no longer live near each other due to many unpleasant life circumstances but not one day has gone by, since she has found her new life far from me, where I don’t have her words, her essence, and her love in my life.
Our relationship has been made up mostly of telephone visits and I thought it would be a great loss not to be able to hug her or go shopping with her or share a meal with her. In a way it is a great loss because we had that kind of relationship when we lived close to each other. What I have learned is that on any given morning we can share a breakfast meal and I can send her hugs and kisses through email and snail mail and I can actually go shopping with her if I take pictures of what I am shopping for and want her opinion. Thank you to all those wonderful technology gods out there in the universe. Yesterday I had an amazing visit with mom.
Let me back up just a smidge and tell you that last week I had an awful, down and out, where-the-hell-is-my-life-going kind of week. When I get into that kind of deep funk I read, a lot. As only a mother can, mom heard in my voice that something was not right. In all honesty, when she asks me point blank what’s up I usually hide behind being busy or the cloudy weather or my personal favorite of all time, I’m tired. This telephone visit was really no different than any other. I didn’t tell her very much detail about how things were going but I must have alluded to restlessness in my pursuit of my coaching certifications and so she asked me more about the process I’ve been going through. We finished our conversation and went about our afternoon.
Around 3:30p later that day mom called and read to me my horoscope for the day before. She sometimes gets backed up in keeping current with her newspaper reading. Thank goodness.
In a nutshell my horoscope said something to the effect that although things might be going well, always remember that we bring to bear that which we spend most of our thoughts on. This can be interpreted 2 ways:
1) If I stay focused on my task at hand I will eventually find my flow or
2) If I continue to concentrate my efforts on what is not happening to my satisfaction then I could lose all that I have gained without even knowing it.
I explained to mom that this is the basic idea behind the “Law of Attraction.” The Law of Attraction states that you attract into your life what you spend most of your time thinking about. If I spend most of my time thinking that building my own coaching practice is not happening fast enough or not producing the results I want quickly enough, then I start to think that I need to go back to getting just any J.O.B. and forget about my ambitions and my purpose. Then came the inevitable and oh so prolific mom story….. Last week the very old radio that sits on the night table by the bed suddenly stopped getting the one and only AM radio station she listens to. The music is fortyish music and comforts her as she falls asleep.
The real attachment to the radio however goes way beyond the fact that it brings to her the music she likes. The real attachment is that it was the radio dad used every day when waking up to go to work. His fingers touched it, his essence is a part of the radio, and the memories for mom are wrapped up in this little and very old radio. In true frustrated fashion as only mom can display she tried to work her Mrs. Fix-It magic and hit the radio into submission. She banged it on all sides, she slammed it on the night table, and she really let that little old radio have it for failing her so egregiously.
While working in the garage a few days later she turned on the newer radio that was placed there for just such events and wouldn’t you know it the radio station came in on that radio. Well, for sure she now believed that the old radio on the night table was just too old to work anymore and besides that she really did a number on it when in her total frustration she probably killed any chance for it ever work properly again. So she decided to start her search for a new night table radio. For one whole week mom worked up the nerve and determination to replace that old radio.
By Thursday night she was worn out. She hadn’t been sleeping well because she missed her music and she still hadn’t completely committed to replacing the radio. It was on her mind all week about trying to understand why it just stopped working and how can she let that old radio go. Thursday night, just before bed, she turned on the old radio one last time and wouldn’t you know but there was the music.
In hindsight she thought, she never stopped even one time to take into consideration that perhaps the radio station signal was not strong that night due to rain storms and so perhaps she just couldn’t receive the transmission at that time. She never stopped to think about going to check with the newer radio in the garage to listen if that radio was receiving the signal needed. Mom jumped to the wrong conclusion that the old radio was not only letting her down but was finally ready to stop working. She believed that if the radio was giving her trouble then it was time to let the radio go. There could not have been another option.
What did that little old radio teach her? When mom called to read to me my horoscope she really called to ask me if I was perhaps blocking my own self from receiving the signals I needed to stay the course. She wanted to know if my radio was working, She wanted to understand what was I attracting to myself that was not working in my favor?
“The universe is always speaking to us….sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more.” Nancy Thayer
There have been so many moments of success along my career changing path and so much encouragement from my coaching community. Was it possible that I was not allowing those transmissions to get through because I defaulted and started attracting to myself the wrong signals? “Don’t give up now”, she said. “Keep learning, keep believing, keep pushing forward because when the time comes for the signal to be received, you must be ready to transmit what needs to be heard.” She said, “For some reason what I went through with this silly radio is a great lesson in keeping the faith and staying tuned in to receive the transmission the universe is sending to you.”
It was probably one of the most chilling, the most inspiring conversations the two of us have ever had. I walked away from that conversation and signed up for my next class with more hope and more determination than I have had in over a year. It has been a very hard, long, winding, and wonderful journey so far. Lessons can come from anywhere.
What old radio are you listening to? What are you attracting to you?
1) What would you get, achieve, from reaching your dream? Make your list in adjectives.
2) What helps you feel aligned with your dream? What activities and relationships help you feel empowered to move forward? What is already happening that lets you know you are already on your path toward your dream?
3) What steps need to be taken, one at a time, brick by brick, to get to where you want to be?
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to