This is Part II of a two-week series titled “Born Again Blogger – It’s Not What You’re Thinking.” We’ll focus on what made me finally make the leap to blogging and you’ll get an inside scoop on what I hope to accomplish. Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Please visit my website below. If you enjoy, please share and spread the word!
Welcome Back
So, I hope I didn’t lose you last week. I know the whole Glee reference can fall on deaf ears sometimes, particularly for those who aren’t a fan of the show. But stick with me through this week and I *think* it will all make sense.
Clearly, the adoption happened and things worked themselves out. Of course there were difficulties, but I’m skimming over the topic for now in lieu of the greater message. Being a new mom, and a SAHM at that, was overwhelming, and without much “me” time {forget about TV-watching time}, I soon lost touch with Glee.
The Death of Finn
That is, until IT happened. For any certified Gleek out there, you already know where this is going. In July 2013, news broke that Cory Monteith, the young actor who played Finn Hudson on Glee, had passed away as the result of an overdose. I won’t go into all the details here, but unfortunately, the reports of his passing were true.
I was FLOORED. Like everyone else, I remembered scouring the internet, trying to wrap my head around how such a talented, young actor succumbed to a tragic end. How had this happened yet again? Why was his life cut short? With a promising career and seemingly perfect life, he had every reason to live.
What Finn’s Death Represented to This SAHM
And did I mention he was 31 when he passed? The EXACT same age I am as of this writing. That one hit deep.
It was like a double-whammy. In an instant, the innocence and hope that Glee represented for me was shattered. I realized things aren’t always so happy-go-lucky. You would think at my age that I would have learned this lesson already, but sometimes, God finds unique ways to give us perspective. This was one of them. And if things could go wrong for Glee and its cast, it could certainly go wrong for me.
Drilling down even deeper, it made me sit back and think how I would have felt if the adoption hadn’t panned out. Bad things can happen to good people, right? Especially when we’re at our most vulnerable. Cory was clearly at an impressionable stage. And quite frankly, so was I. Hubs and I putting our hearts on the line, clinging to faith that we could handle whatever outcome; whether that be a healthy baby, sick baby, or even no baby at all.
Couple that mind trip with the realization Cory’s life had been cut short in his prime, and reality slapped me right in the face. If his life could end abruptly, couldn’t mine too? If I were to die right this minute, would I have as profound an impact on those around me as Cory/Finn had? How would people remember me?
Ok, this is getting long. And depressing. Just a little longer, alright? 🙂
Another Loss Too Soon
I sat on these thoughts for a few months. In the weeks surrounding Cory’s death, we watched a friend say goodbye to her mother. Cancer had ended her life much too soon, but I could see how her personality and spirit would live on, despite the reminder of the dreadful battle she had beautifully fought, but ultimately lost. It would live on in the joy she exuded doing everyday tasks, in the words of wisdom she had imparted on eager ears, and in the overflowing love she never tried to contain. Her funeral was truly a celebration of her life, an amazing tribute for such an honorable soul.
Forced to think about my own mortality, the impact I’ve had on this world, and the legacy I desired to leave behind, was difficult to say the least. It really challenged me to think about if I was living to honor my core beliefs or if I was succumbing to outside pressures to conform to something I was not.
What I Concluded
And guess what? After lots {no really, LOTS and LOTS} of tears, reflection, and emotional sorting out, I came to the conclusion that something had to give. I longed to be connected to those who truly “got” me, that is, loved me regardless of what I could do for them or give them. People who really loved me at the core of, well, me. That meant I stepped away from some relationships that were largely one-sided or toxic. Yep, I simply dropped the rope. It was absolutely freeing.
Furthermore, I took stock of what was really important to me. My family, my health, my faith to name just a few. Yours might look similar. Or not. It doesn’t matter, so long as they align with YOUR core beliefs. No, really. It’s okay not to make everyone happy. For real.
Wanting to challenge myself to further step outside my comfort zone, I decided to start Rough Draft Reality. Acting as a sort of therapy, a way to process my thoughts, my hope is that it will not only strengthen my resolve to live authentically, but it will have a ripple effect among the readers here. Challenge you, yes you, my dear Internet Stranger to redirect your path to one that brings you the most joy.
Looking Ahead
The path before me certainly won’t be easy. Human nature has a way of making us fight change, content to retreat to the safe confines of repetition. Quite frankly, I’m tired of easy. I want to be challenged. Challenged in a way that showcases my uniqueness, my beliefs, my strengths. Easy is safe. Way, way too safe. I hope you join me for the ride 🙂
Perfectly Rough,
Stephanie
Your turn! Have you ever challenged your thinking? If so, how? Why? What was the outcome?
**REALITY CHECK: Everyone has their demons. You never know what battles someone is fighting in private.
Stephanie Weber is a SAHM and freelance writer hailing from the Midwest. She blogs weekly at RoughDraftReality.com and is happiest when rockin’ pajama pants and a ponytail.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to