“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” –C.S. Lewis
Humility has been playing a major role in my life this year. Humility is lowly and meek on the outside but courteous and respectful throughout. Humility puts others first.
Maybe I’m more aware of courtesy and respect or the lack thereof than ever before because I’m getting older or maybe it is just a by-product of the way our society seems to be so self-centered. Whatever the reason I find myself so much more open to learning from others no matter where I am or with whom. Every new learning opportunity and every word I take in I am more and more aware of this feeling of humility and of paying homage and of being grateful.
I recently joined my local Chamber of Commerce and as a result of attending networking events through the Chamber I have been meeting a lot of new people this year. I have found myself feeling humbled by a few people I have met. Their natural way of speaking set the interaction between us on a different level and I was aware of how I have never experienced that before and I found my mind opening up in ways I didn’t know were possible. I want to hear everything they have to say, I want to ask questions I’ve never asked before, and I want to understand things I have never had a need to understand before. It feels right to feel humble. It feels right to honor the people that make me take notice. It sets them apart from other people I have met. Their uniqueness is so evident that I have to pay attention with awe and humility to all that I do not know. The conversation is richer and has more colors to it.
I’m sure there were humbling moments that have occurred in my life but I don’t think I was aware of the blessing of feeling humbled. I don’t think I ever made that connection until now. For me the blessing of humility is in the ways in which I can bring a smile to someone’s face or help through my coaching. It’s a blessing to be of service to others. The late, great psychologist Christopher Peterson said, “Other people matter.” The end.
If you ever want to feel instant connection to humility watch a child share a toy with another child knowing that no one asked the first child to share that toy. The innocence, the love, the honesty in that moment of sharing could very possibly bring a tear to your eye. Humility is in deeds and silence.
Today I tried to be very aware of my sense of humility. I have been working part time at a local public library for a little over 6 months now and every week I work with young children in a story time program that the library offers. I only see the children the one time per week so it has taken a while for them to feel comfortable and safe with me. Today one of the children told me he loves me as he waved good-bye, “I love you Miss Lisa” and another child said that I was a great reader of stories. Keep in mind that these children are 6 and 3 respectively. I was so thankful and speechless at the same time. Oh yea, a tear fell.
I don’t run story time for accolades. I do it because it is so fun working with the little ones. Every week I am nervous as a butterfly wing hoping I don’t mess up the words I am reading or nervous that the kids will like the craft we are doing that day. Just to let you in on a little secret, I do mess up the words I read sometimes and the kids are just fine about it. That is humbling. I am always so surprised to come to the end of the story time sessions and feel filled to the brim with happiness for the fun they all had. A smile truly is worth a thousand words.
This has been a year of changes for me mostly by way of perspective. I have, for some reason, been witness to quite a few incidences lately where I have felt humbled by what I have seen. Let me just say right now that I am beyond grateful for not only the experiences but for the blessing to recognize how I’m feeling and how it has affected the way I interact and the way I stay present every day. The humility I feel with each experience has been so powerful that at times it has brought me to my knees. The result of all of these experiences has found me wanting to pay forward my changed perspective. (I encourage you to please read The Noticer by Andy Andrews for a deeper meaning to a changed perspective. It is an incredible book.)
I’ve noticed that I am calmer, more even tempered, more forgiving, I listen deeper and I notice more around me. I want to share with you some insights I noticed in reference to humility that have been coming to the surface of my awareness as I let myself truly feel the changes that are coming over me.
*Be Grateful. “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Leave no stone unturned in your approach and reverence toward being grateful. Feeling grateful is humbling. Dr. Robert Emmons writes in his book, Thanks! “Grateful thinking fosters the savoring of positive life experiences and situations.” When you are showing gratitude you are being humble in the presence of the experience and honoring your awareness.
*No Contest. We are each unique. We are one of a kind. There is no one on earth like us. Celebrate your unique status. Don’t compare yourself to someone else. Celebrate the fact that we can each learn from one another at any moment in our lives. Our soul’s purpose is to help each other grow and learn and reach and become and achieve. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone in this world; if you do you are insulting yourself.” –Bill Gates
*Learn for life. We were not born knowing everything there is to know. True, our experiences solidify certainties that we hold on to with fierce determination but what if what we believed to be true wasn’t really the only truth? Wisdom comes from learning and bending and experimenting with many perspectives. Stay open in your mind and soul to always learn from every experience. Don’t close a door because the lesson was hard the first time around. Take a deep breath and see what you can see.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” –Joseph Campbell
*Kill with Kindness. Do good work and people will notice. Do great work and people will wonder who you are and how to be like you. Do great work always. Let your kind acts speak for themselves. Don’t boast or brag and don’t be kind to be noticed. Be kind because everyone is need of kindness every day. Let go of the self and be the selfless.
“The Paradoxical Commandments
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
*Let Go of the Outcome. More times than not life will interfere with the plans we make. The outcome of any hoped for situation will invariably end not as we expected or wanted. Exchange the word expectation to something much more real and soft and usable like hope, surprise, awe, wonder, magic, or magnificence. Humility lives in these new words. Work hard, follow your heart, do what you need to do but then let go of the outcome. The results will be what they were meant to be because you had a hand in it. We don’t know everything so let the energy of your great work and the energy you put out into the universe help to decide the ending.
“Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.” Samuel Johnson
Call to Action
Share with me the answers to these questions. Your stories are everything to me.
Where were you kind today?
What are you grateful for today? Is there something you are grateful for that hasn’t happened yet?
Where did you leave ego and self at home?
Who did you humble yourself to today?
What caught inside of your soul today that made you stop breathing and fall to your knees with humility and honesty?
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to