Parents’ Role Regarding Sibling Rivalry

Many books have been written on the topic of minimizing sibling rivalries. Therefore many different opinions and suggestions exist. It is impossible to give a text book response to exactly what the parent is responsible for controlling when it comes to sibling rivalries. However, it can be said that it is the parent’s role to do all in their power to ensure that their children are as happy and healthy as possible. And it would not be too far of a stretch to say that minimizing sibling rivalries is simply a part of the parenting process.

So where is a parent to start as they attempt to minimize sibling rivalries? Well, ideally parents should work towards preventing a problem from occurring in the first place. This means teaching your child about getting along with their sibling before that second child is even born. Suggestions for doing this and for other strategies that you can use as a parent in order to minimize sibling rivalries are listed below:

•Prepare for a new sibling – Having another baby or sibling in the house can be quite the shock to a young person’s life. Lots of things change when there is another child in the house and often times that first child feels neglected for a while since a baby requires a great deal of attention from the parents. Experts suggest that it is from these early feelings that sibling rivalries begin. As a parent you can prepare your child for the arrival of their sibling by doing some simple things with them. This includes talking to your children about the birth of a new brother or sister. You may also want to use pictures or home videos to remind your child that they were once young as well and that little babies need a lot of help to get what they need. You may also want to try reading stories about new babies, visiting homes with new babies or role playing scenarios with your child so that they feel less confused and understand why mom and dad’s attention is diverted when their new sibling comes home. Continue the process of bonding between your children by having them participate in activities together such as a nighttime story or a walk.

•Respect differences – Studies show that there are many factors that contribute to the fact that some siblings are more likely to become rivals than others. Children who are far apart in age, different genders, or have completely different interests are more likely to butt heads. Of course there are exceptions, but as a parent what you can do about it is teach your children to try to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. Sure people are different, but no one likes to be treated unfairly or made fun of. Everyone has feelings.

•Sharing and making thing fair – Few issues regarding sibling rivalries are more difficult to combat than issues of sharing and making things fair between your children. The fact is that things will never be perfectly fair for your children simply because they will all have different needs. With age brings more responsibilities and more privileges. Keeping everything fair all of the time is unrealistic. Listen to your children when they feel like something is not fair and ask them how they would handle the situation if they were the parent.

•Teach your children to handle their own arguments – There is nothing wrong with having a disagreement so long as both siblings have the tools necessary to solve the disputes on their own. As a parent your role is not to hold your child’s hand through every hardship that they will have in life. Instead you must teach them how to handle situations for themselves and intervene only when you see that your child is unable to handle the situation on their own. It will take some time but that time will be well worth the effort once your children have learned that resolving their own conflicts gets them much further than carrying on with pointless rivalries.