How to Individualize Attachment Parenting to Fit Your Family

The term, “Attachment Parenting”, was conceived to describe a highly responsive, attentive style of caring for a child. Attachment parenting strives to promote physical and emotional closeness between parent and child through what the creator Dr. Sears refers to as the “Baby Bs.” The Baby Bs are:

•Bonding
•Breastfeeding
•Baby wearing
•Bed sharing
•Boundary building

Many critics of this style of parenting say that this labor intensive method serves to produce guilt in parents who cannot fulfill all of its outline and has not been shown to be any better in the long run than “mainstream parenting”. Yet this method of parenting continues to grow in popularity and has become a focus of interest for many prospective parents. It is important to note that while many aspects of Attachment parenting seem labor intensive, even the most devout followers of this method say that they serve only as guidelines. The Attachment parenting method can give you recommendations on how to parent your child and can be modified to fit your lifestyle and the needs of your individual baby. Here is what you need to know about how to individualize Attachment parenting to fit your family-

•Attachment parenting advocates encourage parents to hold their baby often in the early sensitive weeks of life in order to foster bonding. Coupled along with this, breastfeeding is promoted because it enhances the mother’s natural instincts to respond to her baby through physical closeness, hormonal influences and promotion of attentiveness. Breast feeding can be difficult for some moms and babies. A consultation with a pediatrician, lactation manager or nurse practitioner can sometimes help get over the initial obstacles and help you determine if breast feeding will be a part of your Attachment parenting.

•Baby wearing is the practice of carrying the baby on the parents’ body with an infant carrier or sling. While some parents find this comfortable and easy to do, other parents struggle to find a way to accomplish this. In addition there are a few babies who do not want continued closeness and will literally balk at the added body heat baby wearing sometimes causes. You must be sensitive to what works for you and your baby. Try a variety of slings and pouches to see what works best for you and baby. Watch your baby for cues to see if they enjoy being carried (most do but there is always that exception). There are a wide variety of ways that attachment parents address these issues. While one parent might carry her baby almost always in a baby sling, another might “know” that her baby loves the stroller when they are outside in the park. Attachment parenting is meant to be a guide to promote trust and security between you and your child so do not be upset or discouraged if continuous baby wearing is not for you or your baby.

•Bed sharing is when parents and babies are sleeping in the same bed which provides additional opportunities for closeness the baby needs. This is done in a variety of ways that best suit the entire family’s need. Some attachment style parents never use a crib but arrange mattresses on the bedroom floor to accommodate the bed sharing. Other parents may start the baby in the crib and bring him into their king sized bed after the first night waking. Some parents use specialized cribs that attach to the side of the parent’s bed. The bottom line is that each family decides what will meet their needs and the needs of their baby best while promoting closeness.

•Keep in mind that misconceptions about Attachment parenting abound. Those parents who practice Attachment style parenting do not always wear their baby, share sleep or breastfeed. Though most attachment parents have adopted a life style that includes a stay-at-home mom, (at least while the babies are young), extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and the use of baby carriers, these are not “requirements.” The core of Attachment parenting is about knowing your baby and responding to what your instincts and knowledge of your family tell you are right. There are as many variations on the methods of implementing attachment parenting as there are parents and babies.