Attachment parenting is a phrase that was coined by pediatrician William Sears. This is a method of parenting that is based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to this theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, (which is also known as a secure attachment), is a determinant of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood. It is important to note that the attachment parenting that is advocated by Dr. Sears should not be confused with the parenting techniques that are also sometimes referred to as attachment parenting, which are used as an adjunct to attachment therapy.
The basis of attachment parenting is the Attachment theory, which was originally proposed by John Bowlby. This theory states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In a wildly different comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, it is proposed that attachment is considered a biological system and children are naturally attached to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives. Attachment is considered a part of normal child development.
As Dr. Sears’ theory of attachment parenting was refined, there developed eight principles of attachment parenting. Proponents of Attachment parenting attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:
1.Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2.Feed with Love and Respect
3.Respond with Sensitivity
4.Use Nurturing Touch
5.Engage in Nighttime Parenting
6.Provide Consistent Loving Care
7.Practice Positive Discipline
8.Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
Naturally these values can be interpreted in a variety of ways. Many attachment parents also choose to live what is known as a natural family living lifestyle, which includes such things as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, the anti-vaccination movement, natural health, cooperative movements, and support of organic food.
It is important to note, however, that Dr. Sears’ method of Attachment Parenting does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules; instead his methods encourage parents to be creative in responding to their child’s needs. Attachment parenting per Dr. Sears is meant to focus on responses that support secure attachments.
One of the main focuses of Attachment parenting proponents is that they value secure attachment between children and a primary caregiver, with this being preferably a parent or guardian. Secure primary or secondary attachments can also be formed with other caregiving adults and should be supported by the parents. Attachment parenting friendly childcare is considered a continuation of the nurturing care given by the parents and focuses on meeting the child’s needs. Attachment Parents will typically work to make caregiving arrangements that are sensitive to the child while balancing their own needs as well.
Another major focus of Attachment parenting is that parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. They work to set boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child. Attachment parenting also takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that can occur when they expect things beyond their child’s capability.
Attachment parenting theory holds that it is of vital importance to the survival of the child that he or she is capable of communicating his needs to the adults and having those needs promptly met. Dr. Sears feels that, while still an infant, the child is mentally incapable of outright manipulation. Attachment parenting looks at child development as well as infant and child biology to determine the psychologically and biologically appropriate response at different stages. Attachment parenting also does not mean meeting a need that a child can fulfill himself. Attachment parenting means understanding what the infant’s needs are, when they arise, how they change over time and circumstances, and being flexible in devising ways to respond appropriately.
Parenting viewpoints from parents in the trenches, because parenting doesn’t come with a manual. In addition to