Talking to Your Child About Hormonal Changes

Puberty is a scary time. Most of us don’t remember how frightening it was. Our bodies were suddenly changing. Sometimes it seemed they changed over night. It can almost be like becoming a werewolf. Just as in those terrifying old horror movies, people suddenly change into something they fear. For children, puberty can be quite similar. They suddenly feel something different but can’t explain it.

Hormonal changes can cause moodiness.

They have no control over the transformation that is taking place and they don’t know in what direction it will go. Many children feel extremely confused and embarrassed about puberty. They don’t know how to speak about embarrassing bodily alterations that they cannot control. Also, because they are becoming adults at this time they might want to be independent and not speak with their parents or friends about the issue. Most children will simply suffer in confusion and silence before they actually attempt to find out what is going on.

The other problem is that many parents are extremely embarrassed about the situation themselves. They don’t know how to speak to a child about things that are difficult to speak about even among adults. Often this results in a situation where a parent says nothing, leaving it up to a school or someone else to teach their children about puberty. Some schools do a good job of this, but this does not mean that the school is a good replacement for the parent speaking with the child about puberty. A parent can do things that a school simply cannot do. Children look to their parents for guidance. They need to be able to speak with their parents about difficult times and about embarrassing things. Otherwise they might feel disconnected from their parents. Speaking with your child about puberty in a natural and confident way will do a lot for their sense of self and your relationship.

So what is it about puberty that is so difficult? Besides the obvious exterior changes to the body there are several internal, hormonal changes that need to be confronted and dealt with. Certain chemicals in the body are being produced in very large quantities and very quickly. This produces various effects. It is mostly what changes the physical appearance of the body or what causes it to begin certain things. It is also what causes some serious emotional changes. Many children in the midst of puberty might seem abnormally grumpy or serious. They might feel strong bouts of depression or anger. Along with the hormonal changes will also come social changes. A child’s body is telling them to become an adult and to break with their parents. It is telling them to become their own person.

So how can you possibly explain all of the hormonal changes taking place in the body during this period of your child’s life? You simply cannot explain all of the changes because you probably do not understand all of them yourself. However, you certainly can try to explain the basic chemistry behind what is happening to them. Most children are bewildered by what occurs to both the inside and outside of their bodies during puberty. Give a basic explanation, including the names of some of the basic hormones. Help them to understand that what is happening is very well understood and that there is nothing wrong with the process. Help them to know what will occur in the future and that these changes are a good thing. They are becoming adults because of the hormonal changes. Celebrate this fact with them and help them to feel positive about puberty.