Talking Heads: 5 Strategies for Effective Communications with Your Kids

It can be difficult to talk to your kids. Besides the fact that the slang, and language has changed much, making it often as difficult as talking to someone who speaks a different language, they are also often resistant to talking to you, the parent. The following are five strategies to help improve your success when talking to your kids:

Listen: Listening is the opposite of talking; if you want your child to talk to you, you have to start by listening to them. The beauty of this is when you are a good listener, your child trusts you more and is more willing to share. Additionally, there is an old strategy that says, “No one likes silence, so if you allow it to be silent long enough, they will eventually fill it.” If each time you want to talk with your kids, you talk at them, you will never improve your communication. Work on active listening and learning to allow them to talk.

Ask questions: Asking questions of your child is a great way to get them to talk, but it will never work if you ask questions that only require a one or two word answer. Learn to ask open-ended questions that address their opinions, thoughts and feelings. For example, if you are all in the kitchen and listening to a talk radio show as you snack, ask them what they think about what is being discussed on the radio. Ask them questions about their views on various issues and this will generate conversation.

Get on their level: One of the reasons kids often struggle to communicate with parents is because they are not on the same level. With toddlers, you want to be on their physical level, so to improve communication, bend down, crouch or sit so that you can talk face to face with your child. If you have a teen, you want to be on an emotional level with them so do what you can to get on their emotional level. If you talk to your teenager like they are a toddler, they might resent it; then again, they shouldn’t be spoken with like they are a responsible adult, either. So, learn to cater your speech, wording and message to their level.

Make it fun: Sometimes talking is difficult. When kids want to talk about difficult subjects with each other, and do not know how to approach it, they often will play a game like truth or dare to make it less awkward. You can apply this same idea to your conversations with your children. If you are struggling to talk about something, make a game of it, or change your approach so it is more fun and less awkward. For example, if you want to talk to your toddler about strangers, you might put together a video about stranger danger.

Make it a habit: One of the best strategies for talking to your kids is to make it a habit. The more often you talk to them, the easier it gets. It is like working out as the first few times can be difficult and leave you sore and uncomfortable afterwards but if you do it consistently, it will become normal, and you will not struggle as much.