Every kid has their own sense of style and sometimes that style just doesn’t jive well with what you, as their parent, would like them to wear. This can be especially difficult if your child is a wacky dresser. However, you are faced with two options: you can force your child to dress the way you want them to, often resulting in resentment and anger, or you can learn to deal with it.
The following are some tips for how to handle the fact that your child is a wacky dresser:
Tip one: Take appearance out of the equation. It is true that there are times when you want your child to look a certain way. If you are going to visit the grandparents or heading to church, it is okay to step and suggest an outfit. Otherwise, however, you and your child will be far happier if you worry more about your child and less about their appearance. Give them the freedom to get themselves dressed and be grateful they are clothed. When you stop worrying about, and being embarrassed by, the way your child dresses, you can start to enjoy your child’s unique personality. With the exception of special occasions, stop worrying about their appearance.
Tip two: Set some simple rules. If your child is a wacky dresser and you really struggle with it, set some simple rules that allow for compromise. For example, they can wear whatever they want when they get home and on the weekends but you have final authority on what they wear to school. This is a great compromise that allows you to feel comfortable, and, most of the time, allows your child self-expression.
Tip three: Buy their clothes. If you find that your child is a wacky dresser, it is far easier to deal with it subtly then to confront them. If you try to force the issue, you will usually meet resistance and your child may hold it against you for years to come. A far better option is to simply try to get a little more control in that area subtly. For example, if you purchase all of their clothes and make sure that all the tops go relatively well with the bottoms, the socks go well with the shoes and shoes with the rest of the outfit, it won’t matter what your child puts on, they will look relatively good. How wacky can their outfits be if you purchase them with matching in mind? Your child may wacky them up a bit with accessories and that’s OK. Let them express themselves!
Tip four: Learn to appreciate their lack of self-consciousness or unique sense of style. Too many parents care about their child’s clothing because they are self-conscious about what they wear. You can handle your child’s wacky dressing far better if you recognize it as a strength. Your child is being themselves without worry about what other people think of them. Self-confidence is a great attribute, so rather than try to force them to be someone they aren’t, be proud that they are not afraid to show who they are.
Nell Wade says
Read your excellent article with interest and share your views on the importance of individual uniqueness. Just wanted to add something that might be of interest to you. I am working with a team of psychologists who create products designed to help children boost confidence and enhance self-esteem in healthy ways. Please visit our website at http://www.toolkitsforkids.com and if you are ever interested in writing another piece on child confidence, we would be happy to be a resource.