Say Goodbye To Mommy Guilt

Are you feeling that awful feeling often referred to as mommy guilt? You know, that feeling when you are dragging yourself down because you snapped at your kids, didn’t have the energy to have sex with your husband or had to leave your kid at daycare in order to help bring home extra income? Well, stop! Mommy guilt serves no purpose in your life and it does no good for your kids.

Try the following 4 tips for saying goodbye to mommy guilt:

1.) Join the crowd. There are a lot of moms out there that feel the same pressures you feel as a mom. They are just like you, experiencing some guilt about crazy schedules, missed moments, messy homes and the challenges of raising kids while still being a good wife. Get to know some of those moms. Often, realizing you are not alone and that others have similar family situations will help you recognize that the bar you set for yourself is too high. You need to cut yourself some slack. In addition to the comfort of knowing other moms face the same challenges, you can talk, de-stress and learn valuable solutions to common mommy challenges from other moms. Find and join a mommy group or start one yourself.

2.) Think positively. Guilt blows things way out of proportion and moms are great at laying it on thick, especially on themselves. Take time to fairly assess moments throughout the day when you felt guilt. If your toddler was late to preschool, do you think it is going to hugely impact his success for the rest of his life? If your laundry is piling up, will your kids have to go to school naked? Truthfully, most of the time the things that cause you to feel guilty, really are not all that important and, while it would be nice to always be on time, always have a perfectly spotless home and so on, it isn’t going to happen. So, be proud of yourself for doing the best job you can for your family, and that you care enough to feel guilty.

3.) Stop the comparisons. You can never know what is really going on in other people’s lives and homes. Don’t compare yourself to other moms. What they portray to you may seem perfect, but no one is perfect. There’s a difference between doing your best and expecting perfection. So, if you stop in at another mom’s house without warning and find it sparkling and clean, don’t berate yourself for the messes you have at home. If you snap at your child while another mom calmly talks to hers, don’t berate yourself. Remember that different people handle things differently. A lot of people, including moms, put up a ‘perfect’ front, keeping the mess that is their life tightly wrapped away from prying eyes. You can try harder, but quit making the assumption that everyone is a perfect mom but you. As soon as you stop comparing yourself to every other mom out there, the mom guilt starts to disappear.

4.) Plan. A plan for success always helps things go more smoothly, makes your job as a mom easier and lessens your guilt. Determine what you do or don’t do that makes you feel guilty and create a plan for resolving these issues. If your kids are always late to school and don’t get breakfast, try laying their clothes out the night before, signing their homework slips the night before and preparing their sack lunches the night before. Then, in the morning, your only real job is make breakfast. Instead of hunting for clean socks or asking your child to find their homework slips, you can focus on flipping pancakes. A plan will reduce your stress and enable you to handle the little glitches that inevitably arise better.

Your kids will grow up and move on, so stop wasting the precious moments of parenting young kids saddled with guilt. Throw away the guilt.