To Work or Not to Work: That is the Question

Pros and cons exist for moms going back to work or staying home with the kids. This makes the decision of whether or not you should work or be a stay-at-home mom such a difficult one. While the pros and cons vary based on your personal situation, the following is a look at some of the basic pros and cons of both:

Staying home:

Pros-

You are there for your kids. Kids need security and comfort, and knowing that mom is going to be home when they get off the bus, or wake up in the morning, or whatever is very reassuring to them. This means they grow up into more self secure adults.

Kids know you are available. Often staying home means better relationships with your children because they know that they come first and are available and they are not competing with your clients, etc. for your attention.

Focus is on being a mom. When you try to juggle work and mommy it can be hard to do either particularly well. By staying home, you are able to dedicate your time and focus to being mom, which means you will be a far better mom.

It’s hard to do both jobs well.

Keep your household running. Homes do not clean themselves, groceries do not magically appear in the fridge, and the mini-van does not pack and drive itself to the soccer games, room mother meetings, and other activities. Keeping a household running smoothly is a full time job. Choosing to stay home means being able to do this better, and not be as stressed while trying to juggle all that is required of you.

Cons-

Not the same fulfillment you get from a paycheck. While being a stay at home mom can be very fulfilling, it is also a thankless job. Children rarely show gratitude to any degree for all the hard work you do for them. When you work outside of the home you get compensation in pay. This is rewarding.

No money. You just do not get paid to stay home with your kids. This can mean being tight financially. For many moms this is a big drawback.

Little appreciation. Being a mom means working really hard, and occasionally being belittled for it. Some people look down on being a stay at home mom, and do not recognize that you are working hard to keep your kids clean, fed, and happy.

Working:

Pros-

Stay current in your field of study. Many moms want to stay home while their children are little, but then go back to work when they start school. The problem with this is that if you do not stay working, it is difficult to stay current in your career path. If you keep working, you do not have to face the difficulty of reentering the work force having been out of work for a few years.

Gratification. Many moms go to school for several years and then never do anything with their degree because they stay home. Going to work means getting the gratification that all the money you spent on tuition, and all those hours spent studying were not for nothing.

A paycheck. The biggest pro of working is that you get a paycheck, adult interaction, and a chance to feel like you make a difference in the workforce.

Cons-

Kids raised by nanny. It can be a big con that if you work, someone else has to watch, and thus effectively raise your children.

Unable to volunteer at schools, etc. If you are working, your schedule is going to be tight, and so you won’t be able to be a room mom, join the PTA, attend every event of your kids, etc.

Can’t do either as well. When you work and are a mom, both jobs tend to suffer. It is hard to split your focus.