Work or Stay Home

One of the toughest decisions a mom has to make is whether she is going to try and stay home with her child or go to work outside of the home. This is a tough decision because there are several people who the decision impacts, and there are emotional, physical, and monetary impacts. Let’s take a closer look at the mommy dilemma:

Part of the dilemma is about what is best for the kids. While most would say the answer is clear cut, this is not always the case. In some instances a mom who stays home starts to feel like her value is not high. She may not be as happy, and she is always with her kids so she may not consider the time as high quality. In some cases when a mom works, she makes a more conscious effort to make the time she does spend with her children valuable, resulting in better parenting.

Another part of the dilemma is the financial side. The fact is, if mom goes to work, she can contribute to the expenses of the family. Many families require two incomes to sustain their lifestyle, home payment, etc. If mom does not work, it could mean dressing in second hand clothes, and eating low quality foods. While most families can find ways to live more frugally, and thus make ends meet off one income, this is not always a very exciting prospect. So, many moms go back to work because they have a house payment, car payments, loans for various other things, etc. that they have to pay off.

The next part of the mommy dilemma is how mom feels about herself. It can be very rewarding for a mom to get out of the house and use skills she has gone to school for, and be appreciated by professionals, and compensated with a paycheck. While being a mom has its rewards, most of them are not as obvious, instead of a paycheck you get to change more diapers. Instead of recognition and praise for your hard work, it is usually whining and complaining. However, at the same time, there is something extremely gratifying in seeing your child’s eyes light up when they get off the school bus and see you waiting for them. Both working and staying home has its benefits and can make moms feel good about who they are.

Most moms struggle with this decision because it feels selfish to want to work and hire someone else to care for your children. The guilt starts to become a big part of life, and takes much of the joy out of both working outside the home, and being a mom. You find that you can’t always commit yourself to either, so you do both half way, resulting in neither of them being done particularly well. This adds to the guilt, and can make it very hard to be happy. So, most moms have to decide and really commit one way or the other. It is hard to have the best of both worlds in this scenario, hence the word “dilemma” being attached to it.

Which is right for you and your family is up to you and your family. Some moms try to work part time but be home when their children are not in school, of course this only works if you can find someone with flexibility, and if your kids are old enough to be in school. Keep looking for answers, and eventually you will figure out which is best for you, and find a way to make it work out.